Now's Your Chance!!! Spamton x Reader

Generisity

"Y/N, you [little sponge]!!! You want to drink up that [Sweet, Sweet] [Freedom Sauce]?!" He hops up, grabbing your collar and dragging you down to his level. He shoves his face against yours suspiciously. If his face wasn't tilted just that little bit down, you're certain he would have speared you on his nose.

"Freedom sauce?" You ask, pushing his face away playfully.

Instead of backing off, he grabs your wrist. He holds you still and drapes himself over your hand, dramatically placing his free hand over his forehead.

"Why, if you can [F1] yourself, you won't need your ol' pal Spamton, [Will and Testament]?"

"What- Hey! No, of course I will-"

"Oh, my little [[Big Shot]] is [[Reach for the Stars!!!]] so quickly! You'll remember your [lil' buddy] when you're [Graduate From Med School In Just 2 Weeks With These 5ix Clever Tricks], won't you?" He looks at you with big, watery eyes. 

You shift your hand to his collar and pick him up.

"You're stupid."

He looks distinctly like a puppy, like this. His knees are pulled up and his hands are tucked in. His quivering lip is just the icing on the adorably sad cake. 

He keens miserably.

"You're stupid, and you're too cute for your own good," you mutter, taking a seat and pulling him into your lap. "I'm not leaving you. I just want to be able to help you and Noelle the way you both help me."

He practically purrs as he snuggles into you.

You pet his hair, watching as he reacts with long, slow blinks and a sleepy smile.

"So, will you teach me?"

He hums thoughtfully.

"...You make a damn good case for yourself, [Sweetcheeks]. You've got yourself a [DEAL]."

The mature voice coming from the cat-like goblin curled up in your lap throws you for a loop. He's a smart man, and a shady salesman on top of that. Still, you can't judge him too much- Knowing what you do, you're certain that the poor man is touch-starved. 

While you refuse to admit it out loud, you're more than happy to indulge him. While his skin is cold at first, it warms to your body heat and reflects it back at you. It's a strangely comforting feeling.

...Maybe he's not the only one who's touch-starved.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, [Honey Pie]?~"

A flush creeps up your neck as you meet his eyes.

"...You're full of nicknames today, huh?"

"[[Pet supplies]] names [[Are In Stock]]," he says with a wink.

You smother his stupid smug face with your hand.

"ACK!" He wrestles with your hand. He makes to bite it, rethinks, and then pushes it off with his foot instead.

And then you're both laughing. It starts in your belly and bubbles upwards, rumbling comfortingly through you. 

What a strange, wonderful friend you have. If it were anyone else, you're sure you would have drop kicked him and run far, far away, but he's just so... him. Cuddly, chompy, adorable him.

"This- Eahhaeahe!- This is a good [Off With The Races], actually! Healing magic, it's- heh- It's [positive charge]. [Don't Change The Channel!]ing [[happiy]] energy into magic. You gotta- Just let me show you." He sits up, still in your lap but upright. He gestures to your chest.