Now's Your Chance!!! Spamton x Reader

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You've made another deal with him. You're going to break into Queen's mansion and steal what he called the "EmptyDisk" for him, and in return, he's giving you a place to stay.

Not half bad. For you, this is a win-win. Somewhere to sleep, and a chance to get back at Queen for what she did to you.

Spamton hops off of his pile of books. He walks over to a pile of cardboard boxes and rummages through them, humming as he goes.

They are, of course, full of trash. You see him toss empty cans to the side, wrappers, and other meaningless junk.

Eventually he finds what he's looking for. It's a crumpled receipt, which he brings back to the desk and smooths out. He's also procured a surprisingly high-quality- and clean!- fountain pen from somewhere, which he sets next to the receipt. He pushes both towards you.

"Sign here!!!" He says with a bright smile. 

You take a closer look at the receipt. It's for someone's fast food meal. They had already signed.

You look back at Spamton with a raised brow.

He doesn't seem to see a problem with it. You just sigh and indulge him, crossing out the other person's name and jotting down your own. It's not like you're selling your soul away for someone else's happy meal.

Well, you kind of are, but not yet. And you're probably not going to get a happy meal out of it.

The thought brings a small smile to your lips, which Spamton notices immediately. He climbs up on the desk and waves his arms cheerily.

"Yes!!! Nothing feels better than a [[happiy]] customer!!!" He pats you on the shoulder. "Pleasure doing business with you!!"

The moment you finish signing, he takes the receipt, hops off of the desk, and runs over to another cardboard box. He reverently tucks the receipt into the box among the trash, as though it were some advanced filing cabinet and not, well, somebody's garbage.

But then again, at this point, it's his garbage. As such, you can't judge him too harshly. Plus, the way he treats it with such care despite his conditions... it's almost cute.

He jogs back to the desk, clambering up to sit across from you again.

For a moment, he just looks at you. You can't tell what he's thinking, but it seems warm.

But it's gone a moment later, and he's back in business mode.

"SO!!!" He claps his hands together. "Since you're here!! Hurry up and [[BUY NOW]]!!" He reaches into the desk this time, and pulls out several items.

"Spamton, I have no money, remember? How am I supposed to-" 

"HEAHEHAHEHAHA! Such a [[clown]]!!" He sets each item equally apart, taking care to place them at flattering angles for you.

"You've made [[2]] deals with your pal Spamton!! Ever hear of a [[2 FOR 1 SPECIL]]? Take your pick! It's on the [[cheap apartments near you]]!!" He smiles brightly.

You consider this for a moment. It doesn't take long for you to decide that, yeah, you'd take him up on his offer. In another life, you might have felt bad taking from him. But now, it was you and him against the world, so you might as well.

There's a broken sword, a tattered bowtie, and a bottle full of an unappealing fluid.

You don't know how to fight, so even if the sword wasn't broken, it wouldn't be helpful. The bowtie won't feed you. And the bottle... you open it on the off chance it might smell better than it looks, and it absolutely does not. You gag on the smell and close it immediately.