Dominating his Innocence

CHAPTER 49

Chapter 49

He fell asleep because he was so drunk that he couldn't take it. We're both standing here in front of my door and he's leaning his head on my shoulders while he's standing.

He's so damn heavy!

"CJ, wake up," I tapped his shoulders.

"Hmmm," is he talking to a cow? is he kidding me right now?

Ugh! he's so damn heavy while I'm taking him inside the condo at pinahiga ko siya sa kama. He's so wasted, how much alcoholic drink did he drink?

Iinom-inom tapos hindi naman pala kaya, tss.

Why would he even think that I am in a relationship with Stephen? that he even drown himself to be in this state?! I can't believe him! paano kung may nangyari sa kanya sa bar? what if he got into an accident while driving himself here? hindi ba siya nag iisip? what would happen to our children if something happens to him because of his unconfirmed suspicion about me?!

Let me remind you, hindi niya alam.

Ay oo nga.

But still! he shouldn't just conclude things that easy without even asking my side of the story! I only have my love for him! No one else! he should not be numb at all!

Nakakainis lang kasi!

I look at him now and I just can't believe that he's even begging for me to stay and go back to him.

He shouldn't have been doing that. Before I came here, I have no reason to stay after my 3-year project and simply go back to Australia but now, I have the reason to stay.

I realized that I can't just do co-parenting, I can't even stand seeing him with someone else. I will just continue lying to myself that I will continue doubting myself.

I run down my index finger on his brows down to his closed eyes.

"You don't have to beg for me to stay because I will stay. I will stay because I will fight for you now, no matter how it takes, I will fight for you now," I said even though it's useless because he will not hear it anyway.

Seeing him earlier crushed every part of me that he's even begging for me despite what I did to him before. I will be calling myself stupid if I will chose to let go of him for the third time because I know that I will regret it for the rest of my life.

Why am I being so hard on myself in giving him a chance? Why not? If the past will continue dictating me and let it control my life then I would never be happy. I will just continue running without knowing where the destination is.

It's just painful to think that he still has to go through this. He still has to chase me again asking for a second chance, may paninindigan siya samantalang ako, wala.

But now, I will correct all the mistakes that I did in the past. Hindi ko na siya iiwan ulit kasi iba na ang sitwasyon namin, may anak na kami at hindi pwedeng hindi niya malaman. Even if I like it or not, we already have a permanent connection because of our kids. Bakit hindi nalang kami magsama diba? If he's asking me to stay then I will stay not just because for the sake of the kids but because I wanted to because I love him.

When the morning comes, I woke up early because I still have to cook hangover food for this fella right here beside me in my bed who was drunk last night.

I get up from my bed and went to the kitchen. I will just make chicken soup for him since 'yon lang available na ingredients dito sa ref. I started cooking at parang ako na 'yong nagugutom kasi ganitong oras talaga ako kumakain ng breakfast.