WHEN WE MET HER

CHAPTER 38

When we arrived at the hospital, I felt like I unlocked my fear again. Once I saw the doctor, nurses, and some patients, I felt like my world became zero again

"Hey, if you can't still do it, I'll tell his mom nalang" Alex held my hand. She smiled at me and caressed my face like it was the most precious thing for her

"I can. I'm just.. a little scared, I guess?"

"Mmm.. I understand. I'll be here, love"

That callsign. Parang nabuhayan ako ng marinig ko ang kung ano ang tinawag niya sa'kin ngayon lang. I want to see him. But I'm scared that he might not want to see me

Nakita ko na 'agad si Tita na nakaupo sa waiting area, sa harap lang ng room ni Jake. She looked like she's about to passed out. It's almost 2AM now. Baka hindi pa nga siya nakain ng dinner, like us

Tumingin 'agad siya sa amin ng makita kaming papalapit. She opened her arms wide for a hug. Mabilis ko namang kinuha 'yon. I need strength and I know she needs it too. She's more affected than me because it's his son, it's his blood and heart

"How.. how are you, Rhaine? D-Did you catch him?" she asked after breaking our hug

"Y-Yes po. And they're from a group. I'm so sorry for what happened. I didn't expect this. I know they're looking for us and I still let my guard down"

"It wasn't your fault, hija. I understand where you're coming from. I experienced everything on his dad"

It must be hard for her. She's strong for not breaking out after everything that happened. Lalo na ngayon, I was actually the one to blame. I even left Jake there like it wasn't really that serious

It took hours before the doctor came out of his room. They told us it was hard to take the bullet out because he's running out of blood too much. There's no stable result that he'll live but they did their best

"Doc.. Is there really no other way?" Tita asked. The doctor immediately shook his head

"I'm so sorry, ma'am. We did our best, and he lost too much blood before he arrives here. In his case, it will be really hard to survive, it's still a nice thing that he got the surgery. Let's wait for another results after a few hours"

Tumango siya sa amin bago umalis. I was so close to tearing up but I'm holding myself because Tita started crying when the doctor left. Alex stood and also carried Tita so she can sit at the chair

I don't know what to do. This is why I hate hospitals. The last time I went here is when it's my grandma who died, the first time I got traumatized is when that accident happened. And now, history repeats itself again

Will this be my forever cycle? Everytime I got to know what loves mean, something like this will always happen

"Kumain po muna kayo, wala pa rin po kayong tulog" Alex handed her a cup noodles

"Salamat, hija. But, did you both eat na ba?" she asked back. Even though I haven't had dinner yet, I have no choice but to let her eat the noodles atleast

"We already ate po, kailangan niyo pong kumain so you'll have strength pa rin po"

Ngumiti lang siya before sipping the soup. It was hard to watch her kaya umalis muna ako, I told them I'll get some air. I went up to the rooftop. I saw some patients there, kahit na sobrang dilim na at tanging iilang ilaw lang ang nagisisilbing liwanag

I stood up near a tree. I felt my eyes burn the moment I saw the stars. How can I watch this beautiful scenery when he's not with me? I was hoping..

"Why are you here? Are you a patient?" I saw Alex beside me. She sat at the bench and also looked at the sky

"Am I.. a bad person?"

Mabilis siyang napatingin sa'kin, "What? Of course not! Why would you say that?"

"Nothing. I just thought.. that might be the reason why I always experience things like this"

Natahimik siya. Napabalik ang tingin niya sa madilim na kalangitan na pinalilibutan ng mga bituin at ng maliwag na buwan. I felt her hand on mine after a moment, it was warm that it heat my hand that's almost freezing

"It wasn't your fault, Rhaine. If things meant to happen, it'll happen. Hindi naman natin napipigilan ang mga ganito 'diba?"

I nodded. "Still, I could've did something"

"It's not that easy"

"Hindi rin naman madali ang ganito"

Silence filled the atmosphere again. It hurts so much. Hindi ko pa nakikita ang kalagayan ni Jake kasi hindi naman kami p'wede sa room niya, but It hurts like my hearts breaking to pieces

"Ang sakit, Alex"

Hinila niya ang kamay ko kaya napaupo ako sa bench. She immediately hugged me. And since I was holding my tears since earlier, hindi ko na napigilan ang mga 'yon at sabay sabay itong tumulo sa mukha ko na tila isang bagyo ang dumaan

"Shh.. it's okay.. you'll get through this, both of you. You're both strong and I know you can survive this"

"What if.. he's tired already?"

"He won't get tired, Rhaine. He will never be. All he knew was love when he's together with you"

Tumagal kami sa gan'ong posisyon ng halos ilang minuto, nakikita ko ang pagtingin ng mga ibang pasiyente sa amin. Kahit na they're the one who's hurting more right now, some of them still gave me a thumbs up to make me feel good somehow

"Karia will be here with Seline and Camille. I told them not to bring Elle but they still did. What a pain in the ass"

"I'll just end up crying on their shoulders too. Dapat hindi na sila pumunta"

Alex smiled. It was a genuine one and also assuring. Those things that makes me want to fight more. Things that makes me feel alive always. All of those, I saw them all at once with him

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas and a nurse came running towards us. She's almost out of breath like she run to came up here. She can't even put her words right that we have to calm her down first

"Okay, what is it? Did you run?"

"I'm so sorry for bothering you, ma'am. But sir Jake told us to call his love. He's awake po and it's you he's looking for"

It's me. He's looking for.

Parang biglang nawala ako sa sarili. Mabilis na natakbo ko ang hagdan pababa sa floor kung nas'an siya. All I know was once I reached that floor, I'll finally see him and we'll get out of here

But... That's not what happened.

"Love..." he almost whispered.

Because it was all pain. Tears immediately falls from my eyes. How can love be this painful? Isn't love a good thing?

Why.. does it always have to be different? Bakit sobrang sakit?

NEXT~