WHEN WE MET HER

CHAPTER 40

"Rhaine, you must eat something. It's been three days and you only ate a porridge soup the other day"

Kahit na rinig na rinig ko ang mga boses sa paligid ay tila wala ako sa sariling nakatitig lang sa picture ni Jake. It's the third day of his wake

I doesn't actually want to go, it hurts so much to see him lying down there when he's suppose to lie on my shoulders before. I missed him so much and I understand why I have to go through this

After all the shits I put him through..

"Hija, kumain ka na muna. Jake won't love to see you like this. You're so pale, you need food or water atleast"

I smiled at his mom. She's still so energetic after everything. I guess it's because she have to entertain some visitors because I still can't hold myself and face all of them

His brother just came back. I told him everything and I was glad that he didn't slap me or what, but I expect that to happen somehow

"It's okay po, Tita. Umupo po muna kayo rito at kanina pa po kayo nakatayo"

"'Wag ako ang intindihin mo. Intindihin mo ang sarili mo dahil ikaw ang lumalaban para riyan"

Was I really fighting for myself?

Ngumiti nalang ako sa kaniya at hindi na nagsalita. It's been three days and I still can't get over what he said that day. Those words are hunting me. I could've save him if I didn't left him there. I could've just brought him to the hospital

It's always me who ruins everything

I always think of what the future holds for myself and not for other people. A thing that I regret the most. We have this saying that our mission must come first before ourselves because it can also bring safety to us

But how about those people we failed to protect because of that.... could it still be called as mission?

"I am so sorry about what happened, Mrs. Abieldo. It was literally unexpected" narinig kong tinig ni Tito Millio sa likuran. He's probably here to check on me again

Wala pang ilang minuto ay naramdaman ko na siya sa gilid ko. He's looking forward too pero ramdam kong panay ang tingin niya sa'kin. He's just that easy to read

"What is it.."

"Nothing. I'm just checking on you.  They say you haven't eaten yet. Are you even breathing fine?"

I closed my eyes. "Of course, Tito. I didn't train to starve myself to get fit for nothing"

"Yeah, yeah. But this is a different situation. Come with me, it's been three days, Rhaine"

"Three days isn't long enough!" mahinang sigaw ko. Sa unang pagkakataon matapos ang tatlong araw ay ngayon lang ako muling umiyak

His not shocked at all. Maybe it was done by purpose. He's here for this. They knew me the best that I couldn't even hide my emotions to them. They were always there at every journey I had, including this. I don't know what can I do now

"Mmm.. go on, Rhaine. It's okay to be weak sometimes. Not because you're used to be strong you can't just feel weak someday" he said. We're sitting on a bench outside

"It .. hurts.. a lot, Tito"

I heard him sigh. "I know. His mom used to work for me before. And this isn't the first time this thing happened. I know how hard it is"

I immediately turn my head up to look at him. His mom used to work for him before?? That's probably why we have this mission! It's to find Jake's mom

"Why... do you want to find her?"

I saw his smile, "I thought she's still being hunt by how his husband died. It turned out not too well though"

In this world, everyone seems to be connected. It is true that our world is too small that sometimes, we ran of some people we thought we saw before. Sometimes, I'll think it's dejavu but it was not that case

Some of them appeared on my dreams

"I don't know how I ended up being here" I was wearing a shades to hide my eyes. Panay black ang suot ko dahil 'yon naman talaga

His mom and brother just finished their farewell letter so it was my turn now. I had a hard time writing everything on a paper. I request if it can be buried with him and luckily his mom told me it's okay

"I never expected we'll end everything like this. I always thought we'll be able to watch every sunsets until I finished everything I had to do..." I had to take a deep breath before I continue because I'm so close to tearing up

"But you.. left me.. earlier than I thought"

I saw how their eyes landed on me with sadness. I can feel all their stares while I'm reading my speech. I just hope they understand me somehow

"I dream to hold you hand after I walk down the aisle. I dream to wake up with you by my side, tapping my head so I can turn back to sleep again. I dream to have kids with you even though I didn't plan that before"

Sobra. Sobra akong nangarap na wala sa mga 'yon ang nagawa nating tuparin

"How... H-How can you just leave?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. I break down on my knees and cried. It was the hardest thing always. Giving up on someone. Saying goodbye.

"No one knows how sorry I am that I can't be there while you're trying to hold yourself to survive. I regret not being able to save you, I regret not being able to fix our argument earlier. I should've saved you. Wala sana tayo rito"

I felt Karia's arms on my waist, trying to make me get down on the stage. I also saw how his mom looked at me. It was full of pure sadness. Full of pity.

Nakakapanghina. This isn't what I thought I'll be here. Akala ko handa na ako. Akala ko kaya ko na. Puro akala lang lahat

"I'm sorry, hija. It looks like you're still tired. You must rest atleast" she even smiled at me. Mas lalo lang tuloy akong naiyak. She really cared about me knowing that I'm the reason why we're all here

"It's fine po–"

"It's not fine. Jake won't like it. You're not like this, Rhaine. You have to be yourself. You have to be strong. This isn't the last time"

I was stunned. I just looked at her, tearing up again. I just can't pull myself up. This probably will always be my weakness. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing that this world could ever give to me.

Rather than having all the pain, it's always the people who's close with me that got affected the most. I know I can't fight that thing, never. Even though I try to do everything, that would never be the best for me to keep them

Nang matapos ang pagdadasal ay hinayaan kaming magsabi ng huling habilin. I'm holding a tulip flower while walking to him.

"I hope.. I can be with you, love" I said after throwing the flower

Huli na. Palagi namang ako ang nahuhuli. I was always late to be there. I saw how they put the sand over him. I was crying so hard that I can't even breathe properly. I was also holding myself so I won't break down again since there's a lot of people now than earlier

"I had an amazing journey with you, Mahal. I love you. So much that I can't let you go"

And without even saying goodbye,He left

NEXT~

This Will be the last chapter! Thank you for staying with me, ily:)))