I Married Lasaten

Part 172

We're finally back sa Pilipinas and we were supposed to go on a honeymoon after pero dahil medyo hectic yung schedule namin ni Pat, we've decided to postpone.

Since we got back, hindi ko alam kung bakit, but there are nights na napapanaginipan ko na sinasabi raw ni Pat sa 'kin na hindi niya na ako mahal. I don't know what's triggering it, but I've been thinking about it lately.

"Aji."sabi ni Pat as she looked at me with concerned eyes.

"Huh?"sabi ko sa kanya.

"I've been asking you kanina pa if you're okay but you're not responding. Are you okay?" Tumango ako. I don't know why I suddenly became emotional. I looked at Pat and she was everything that I've ever dreamed of. And then the thought of waking up and not being loved by her anymore crossed my mind. The thought has been hanging around my head for several days now and I don't know how to tell Pat.

Kumain lang kami ng dinner and after, tinulungan ko na ring magligpit si Pat.

"Wifey, you never told me where you got your phobia?"sabi ni Pat as she sat down beside me after namin magdinner. Sinandal niya yung ulo niya sa 'kin. Nag-isip ako kasi di ko rin naman talaga alam where I got it.

"Hindi ko rin kasi alam. I guess, I must have gotten it when my parents got divorced. I don't blame them. And I think it was better than having them stay together."sabi ko sa kanya. Pat took my hand and she played with my fingers.

"Something's bothering you. What is it?"sabi ni Pat out of nowhere. I sighed.

"Look at my parents wifey. They were so in love and then one day, they are filing for divorce. I mean how can you look at the person you've loved all your life and just look at them like you are watching a stranger. Like when did they stop being each other's home?"sabi ko sa kanya. Pat did not respond but she just continued to play with my fingers.

"I guess it's not really the marriage that I'm scared of. It's waking up the next day and you are no longer loved."sabi ko sa kanya. Pat pressed my hand. "I'm scared of waking up one day knowing na hindi mo na ako mahal. And Pat, I cannot imagine a life without you in it. I can't imagine waking up and not holding you, or seeing you, or taking you in."

"Aji, you don't have to be scared of it. Ikaw yung nagsabi sa 'kin na the only way para malaman ko na mahal mo pa rin ako bukas ay dahil pipiliin mo pa rin ako araw-araw. And I am here to give you the same assurance. Na bukas, when we wake up on our little bed, I will be right beside you to tell you how much I'm crazily still in love with you."sagot ni Pat and she smiled at me. She cupped my face and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Your parents may have failed their marriage, but it doesn't mean we will fail ours. Aji, you don't need to worry okay? I will forever choose you."sabi niya. "Just don't get tired of choosing me too." I nodded and I intertwined my fingers with her.

"Sorry I asked. But you have been sad the whole day."sabi ni Pat. I hugged her and she held me tight. "Ayokong malungkot ka or when you are scary silent."dagdag niya.

"Thank you wifey."

"Sometimes I wish you're still as conceited as you were before."sabi niya. I chuckled.

"Bakit?"

"Eh kasi when you're too serious I feel like you're always carrying the weight of the world. Natatakot ako minsan."sabi niya.

"Aji."sabi niya kaya I looked at her.

"You don't need to carry everything anymore. I'm here."