The Assistant (GxG)

It's Impossible

Kristen POV:

Last Night 

After I put April to bed, I lay on my own and just sat in thought. My mom came to mind, and I remembered the last conversation I had with the doctors.

The new treatment my mom was under seemed to be working and they shed light on the possibility she'd beat it. No matter what, if there was one thing you can say about my mother, is that she was relentless. She didn't let anything stop her and she didn't take bullshit from anyone.

I didn't have a doubt that she'd eventually give this cancer an ass whooping, but the past few months it's gotten harder to see her in that state. She started to look like she was giving up around 2 months ago and I was beating myself up about it. 

I've stopped thinking that way just about a week ago, mainly because of Sierra.

She was comforting, and made me feel safe enough to talk about.......everything. Whenever I'd feel like I was on the brink of breaking, or I just felt pressured or overwhelmed; she'd hold me and rock me from side to side until I felt better.

Even at the office, she took every opportunity to see me, although my job is a bit demanding and has me in all different parts of the building on a daily, she found just a minute, to put a smile on my face and brighten my day. 

The more I thought about it, the more it scared me honestly. I feel so much when it comes to her. It feels like I'm being sucked into this pit of this overwhelming feeling, but overwhelming in a good way.....if that makes sense.

She was like the lightning that struck Barry and gave him powers. She was my Speed Force.

Okay, maybe I need to lay off the Flash binging. 

Ding

Rolling over onto my stomach, I extended my arm and took my phone from the night stand.

"What the hell....." I mumbled, opening the message.

 It was the same number that had claimed to be Michael about a month ago. I thought I deleted it. 

You really think she wants you? Have a look an see.

The message read, then there was a few image attached of Sierra and......Mia. There was one of them hugging, one with Mia's arms around Sierra's neck and one with both their backs to the camera. 

"This isn't what I think it is......right? I mean Sierra wouldn't do that, especially not after what had happened in her past relationship. But maybe Mia apologised....maybe they were working on things. But Sierra's with me, that's illegible for someone in a relationship. None of it makes sense, Sierra isn't the type of person to cheat, but these pictures, they-" I ramble to Lea, falling back on the bed.

I called her over as soon as what the pictures were showcasing registered to me.

"Look, boss doesn't cheat. I know that for a fact. Your best option here, is to talk to her about it. I'm sure there's an explanation there" she reassured me, scooting closer to me.

"The pictures Lea, th-"

"You'd trust some pictures over your girlfriend?" she cut me off, folding her arms and feeding me a look of disappointment.

"No. Of course not" I insisted, sitting to face her.

"Then why are you choosing to have your own assumptions about the situation, instead of confronting her?" she asked, still serving me the disappointed look. 

"I'm just- I'm scared, I guess" I mumbled, playing with the ring on my finger. "Cause what if it's real? What if she doesn't feel the same anymore and doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
 
"She would've spoken to you about it" Lea reassures me once again. "Trust me, you need to not let any fear you have on this stop you from being able to talk to her about it. She isn't gonna leave you Kris."

Present time

I was walking as fast as I possibly could in these heels back to my office. Without a doubt, Sierra found me and of course she wanted to talk to me. I'm guessing my distraught look didn't help it either.

I was supposed to open up and ask her about the photos, but I clearly panicked. This was a lot of pressure.

What if she wasn't getting back with Mia, and was mad that I had even thought about such a thing?

She already said she had issues with containing her anger, what if she blew up at me?

God, what if she didn't want anything to do with me anymore? 

I felt all this pressure, and it was really starting getting to me. I think I got about 2 hours of sleep last night and I had a banana for breakfast.

My head was pounding and I was feeling tired as fuck. Its only 11AM, but it felt as though I'd been here for weeks. Today couldn't possibly get any worse......