"You wanna know why. You wanna know why so bad 'cause nothin' I do makes sense to you. Right? I know that look in your eyes. Go ahead and ask me already."
"All right. Why then?"
"It's like this. When somethin' breaks your arm, the bone snaps and has to heal so it can be whole again. Did you know people can snap too? I don't mean snap like goin' nuts. I mean snap like you're all fucked up.
Somethin' happens to you. Somethin' bad. Snap. You're broken. What's the fix?
You know how bad a broken bone hurts? You just wanna make that shit stop. Then you find this way. It's like magic. It'll wipe your mind for at least a couple hours so you don't think about the bad things. You fall in love with it. You spend all your time with it. It's like when you first start goin' out with somebody new. What's that word?"
"Infatuated."
"Yeah that one! You're infa... infastrated with this new relationship. That's just how it starts.
Now you wanna know why I keep on doin' it.
Well ya see, drugs don't fix a broken person, but by the time you figure that out it's too fuckin' late. It has you.
You know how those big snakes kill their prey? I seen it on TV. They slowly wrap around your body like some sexy bitch wrappin' you up in her arms after the best sex of your life. Warm and cozy.
Then it starts to squeeze. It hurts. You think you can get away so you fight. The more you fight the tighter it squeezes. Tighter. Tighter. Now you can't breathe. Your eyes are poppin' outchur skull. You're shittin' your actual guts out. And it's still squeezin'. Bones snap likes pretzels. Pop pop pop. Your body is a sack of guts and blood and broken pieces of bones. Then that huge ugly snake opens up its whole damn mouth and puts your head inside tight as a dick in a condom. Hopefully by then you're dead.
That's what drugs do.
First they trick you.
Then they squeeze you.
Then, when nothin's left and you're just an empty sack, they eat you all up. Ain't nobody gonna find your stupid ass when they come lookin'. You're gone."
-G.A.C. intake interview, age 17
From the audio files of Oasis Ranch Recovery Center
YOU ARE READING
Reaper's Lullaby
General FictionNora is crippled by anxiety that lurks beneath a Good Girl shell. Lucas is drowning under the weight of his rage and depression. They've been best friends since they were babies living on the same suburban street and have never needed anything but e...
