Reaper's Lullaby

Lucas: Into the Dark

"Depression is rage spread thin."
-George Santayana

Brian had been driving nearly an hour on rural back roads before Lucas dared to speak to him.

"Where are you taking me?"

Brian smirked. "Somewhere with no eyes."

"Are you gonna kill me? Mom'll find out. You'll be put away for life," Lucas said, his voice trembling.

Brian laughed. "Of course I'm not gonna kill you. What do you think I am? A monster? I just wanna teach you a lesson. Believe it or not, I do want the best for you, Lucas. That's why I'm so hard on you."

Lucas didn't respond. His fear was not eased by this. His body kept going cold and hot and cold and hot. His mouth was dry. His stomach was clenching like a fist. He couldn't stop shaking.

As stealthily as possible, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a short text to Nora just in case.

"In car w Brian. he's pissed. we r an hour frm city don't no where. if I dont come bck I luv u."

"No phone! Put it away before I throw it out the window," Brian said harshly just as Lucas pressed send. "Don't know why Sarah would buy you a fucking iPhone anyway. You don't even deserve a flip phone!"

Lucas stuffed the phone into his pocket and felt Nora's buzzing reply, but he couldn't look at it. Just then Brian turned the SUV off the main road onto a bumpy dirt path that led deep into the woods. They drove down it for a long, long time. Nothing but skeletal trees and darkening sky. Lucas's stomach lurched with dread as Brian parked in the middle of a deserted clearing.

"Out!" he barked.

Lucas did as he was told. Brian got out too and went straight to the back of the SUV and opened up the hatch. Lucas couldn't see what he had grabbed at first, but then the taillights illuminated the familiar shape of a shovel. He felt like running. Was Brian going to beat him to death with it and then bury his body out here?

"Dig!" Brian told Lucas just as his fears were spiraling out of control. He tossed the shovel at his feet.

"Why?" Lucas asked.

Brian slapped him on the same ear that was still throbbing from the first blow back at the house.

"Don't ask questions! And take off your shirt."

"But it's freezing," Lucas said.

"Exactly. Take it off. I want this to be as painful as possible."

Lucas kicked the shovel away from him. "Fuck you. No! You're a crazy-ass motherfucker and I ain't doin' shit for you," he said defiantly, even though he knew he was about to get slapped.

But Brian didn't slap him. For the first time ever, he punched Lucas in the face with a closed fist. Lucas fell back on the cold earth, dazed. His bones felt crushed, and warm blood was trailing from his nostrils and into his mouth. He ran his tongue over his teeth, surprised to find them all there. But Brian wasn't finished yet. He kicked Lucas so hard in the stomach he was forced to curl up like a threatened insect, choking and gasping for air. Before he could get a breath in, Brian pulled him to his feet.

"You gonna listen now, you little punk ass? I'm not playing. You wanna talk tough, pretend you're a man? Well then I'll kick your ass like a man."

Lucas swallowed blood. Then he pulled first his hoodie followed by his t-shirt over his head and dropped them on the dirt. Without another word, he picked up the shovel and began digging.

It was slow, exhausting, painful work. The earth was soft from recent spring rains, but the sunlight had faded into a deep blue and then finally black night. He could barely see his progress in the beams of the headlights that created more shadows than visibility. Lucas's hands eventually blistered and then bled. His body was shaking from the cold.

"Can I stop? My hands are burning!" Lucas called to the SUV, where Brian was sitting in the warmth.

"I want you to dig a hole six feet deep! Have you done that yet?" Brian replied.

Lucas shook his head.

"Then no, you can't stop. Don't ask me again or I'll kick your ass!"

Lucas dug, dug, dug for what felt like hours. Finally he could stand in the narrow hole he'd created and not see over the top. That was when Brian pulled him out. Lucas fell beside it, gasping.

"You know what this hole represents?" Brian asked harshly.

Lucas was too exhausted to speak. He could only shake his head and stare into the black hole, which appeared seemingly endless in the darkness of the night.

"Your grave. Because that's where you're gonna be if you keep going down this path, dead just like your father. I know you're on drugs. Not just weed. I suspected and now I'm sure. You wanna die a junkie like him? Is that it?"

Lucas shut his eyes. "No," he whispered.

"Then get your fucking act together!" Brian shouted. "Where are the pills? Don't you dare lie to me or I'll throw you in there and bury you alive!"

"In my room. In the computer desk. First drawer."

Lucas reached for his discarded shirt, but Brian stepped on it. "You think we're done here, boy? Hell no. That was for the drugs. I haven't even started on the stealing. Fifty push-ups. Now."

"My hands," Lucas said, holding up his shredded, bloody palms.

"You think I give a shit? Stop being a fucking pussy! Fifty. Now!"

Lucas could barely do ten pushups, let alone fifty, but adrenaline and fear kept him going until his quivering arms gave out and he collapsed onto the dead leaves and dirt. His muscles had nothing left.

"That's twenty! I said fifty!" Brian shouted in his ear.

"I can't do anymore," Lucas gasped.

"Oh really?"

Brian dragged him up on his feet and slammed him against the nearest tree trunk. Lucas was so numb and exhausted he barely felt the bark scraping against his bare skin. Just let this be over.

"Turn around," Brian said.

Lucas faced the tree trunk and heard Brian taking off his belt. No big deal, he thought wearily. He'd been beaten with a belt just a few weeks ago, and it wasn't that bad if he closed his eyes and daydreamed. It just stung and burned. It was a kid's punishment, not a grown man's. It wouldn't be like that fist to the face.

But Brian changed it up this time. Metal buckle first. The second it hit Lucas's bare back he let out a cry of pain and shock. But he knew that if he begged Brian to stop, it would make things worse. The sound of his cries would probably give his stepfather some kind of sick thrill too, so he gritted his teeth and took it in silence until his back was wet with blood. He could feel the belt buckle ripping his flesh each time it made contact.

Then, finally, it stopped.

"Put on your shirt and get in the car," Brian said breathlessly.

Even though the pain was agonizing, Lucas forced himself not to cry in front of Brian. The long night had been humiliating enough. He staggered to the SUV like a wounded animal. Once inside, Brian looked at him with hard eyes.

"One last thing."

"What?" Lucas asked.

"Your mother will ask about your face. You tell her you fought at school today and we went out for a driving lesson and a long talk. That's what I texted her when you were digging. If you say anything to anyone about what really happened tonight, I will fucking break you in half. Got it?"

Lucas nodded silently.