Reaper's Lullaby

Lucas: Too Much

"I am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel."
- unknown

Lucas liked Gus, but sometimes he did weird things. The first time he noticed it was on his third day. They were eating in the cafeteria and Gus kept getting closer and closer to him. There was plenty of room, no need to be side by side, but the space between them on the bench gradually disappeared over the course of the thirty minute break.

Then it happened again later that night as they were watching a movie in the common area with the others. Only now, Gus let his fingers brush up against Lucas's hand. Lucas didn't know if it was intentional or not, and if it hadn't been for lunch he probably would have assumed it wasn't. But now he couldn't be sure. He crossed his arms over his chest and adjusted his position, hoping Gus would take the hint. It seemed to work.

Lucas was baffled by the behavior. From their conversation the first day and the way they'd talked about girls and sex, Gus had made it pretty clear he was straight. But Lucas sensed there was something off about his roommate. Something different.

It wasn't just the touchy-feely stuff either. Gus had mentioned having nightmares but hadn't offered any other information, leaving Lucas to assume they were normal bad dreams. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

On his fifth night, Lucas was torn from his sleep by the sound of Gus screaming. He bolted up in his bed, heart racing, and frantically looked around the room for the threat. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The light they kept on every night was shining all the way up onto their beds, and Lucas could see that Gus's bed was empty. The screaming was coming from the closet.

Thinking Gus might be in danger or trapped somehow, Lucas sprang out of the bed and threw open the closet doors. There was Gus, sitting in some kind of crash position with his knees up and his face buried in them, his hands clamped over his ears.

"GUS!" Lucas shouted over the screaming.

Gus didn't snap out of it. Lucas stepped further into the closet to shake him and his toes touched the edge of a wet puddle. Gus was so freaked out he had pissed himself! Lucas couldn't imagine what had scared him like this. He had never seen any human being so thoroughly terrified, and that made him scared too.

Two staff members rushed into the room then, and one of them pushed Lucas back toward his bed.

"He was like this when I found him! I swear!" Lucas exclaimed, afraid they'd think he had done something to Gus.

Both of the men ignored him as they grabbed Gus to help him stand. Gus started fighting, all of his limbs flailing, hangers spinning on the rod and articles of their clothing flinging out of the closet like clods of dirt when a dog digs a hole in the ground.

"LET ME GO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Gus cried.

"Get Gina! She's the only one who can snap him out of it when it's this bad!" one of the staff members said to the other.

The second man took off while the first continued to hold Gus in a bear hug with his arms pinned by his sides. Lucas didn't know what to do. Should he help hold Gus down? Or would it make things worse? Before he could make a decision, both the staff member and Gus fell back onto Lucas's bed. Gus's legs were flailing as he fought to get free, but the man's grip on him held steady.

It was at that moment Gina rushed in wearing a bathrobe, her usually-smiling face full of concern.

"Let him go!" she ordered, and the staff member released Gus, who fell to the floor sobbing.