Reaper's Lullaby

Gus: Jeff

"You save yourself or you remain unsaved."
- Alice Sebold

Gus woke up drowsy in a little room he didn't recognize. There was an empty hospital bed beside him, and he was laying on another, a thin white blanket over him. A nurse sat on a stool nearby. She was typing something on a laptop and didn't realize he was awake. Maybe he wasn't awake. Nothing really felt solid.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft. It sounded far away in his ears.

The nurse looked up and smiled. "Hi, Gus. My name is Amy, and I'm a nurse here at Oasis Ranch. You're safe and everything is okay."

"What did you guys do to me?"

"It's just a calming sedative. You've been asleep for a couple of hours, and I've been monitoring your vital signs."

Gus could vaguely remember freaking out during the physical exam and the sharp prick in his arm.

"I'll call Gina and let her know you're awake."

Gina walked in a few minutes after the nurse left. She smiled warmly at him, just like she had during the intake interview.

"Hey, Gus. You doing okay?"

"I guess."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Gus thought back. He remembered the physical exam, the doctor and the flashback. He remembered fighting the security team and throwing anything he could find. He remembered backing himself into a corner. He remembered being terrified, then being too groggy to fight anymore.

"That doctor was doin' some fucked up shit," he said.

"I understand it must have been really frightening after what's happened to you. I need you to know that we always take pictures of self harm and signs of abuse. Every new resident goes through an external cavity search. Dr. Paul is very professional. He's also very kind."

"He came at me wrong," Gus said.

"Would you have felt more comfortable with a female?"

"Maybe... yeah."

"In general you'll be working with men here, but I can be in your sessions with Jeff if that makes you more comfortable."

"Who's Jeff?"

"Jeff Ramey is the head counselor for the boy's section of the facility. I think you'll like him after you come to trust him. You don't really like men, do you?"

"No," Gus said.

"Were men the ones who abused you?"

Gus nodded.

"Well, I'll be right there beside you in the sessions until you feel safe with Jeff. Sound good?"

Gus nodded again.

"Okay, I'm gonna bring him in, but I'll be here too."

"Okay."

Gina left and returned seconds later with one of the biggest men Gus had ever seen. He was tall and muscular, like a body builder, his arms covered with tattoos. His buzzed hair was gray and though he must have been in his late forties or early fifties, he still had a youthful smile.

"Hey, Gus. I'm Jeff Ramey. I counsel and run the groups on the guy's side," he said in a deep, booming voice.

Gus nodded.

"Can I shake your hand?"

Gus wasn't used to men asking him if they could do something to him. He was always being told what to do. The change was unnerving.