Reaper's Lullaby

Nora: Snorting

"The empty, the angry, the lonely, the tricked, we are all museums of fear."
— Charles Bukowski

Nora sat up after Lucas left the next morning and rubbed her temples. She still felt sleepy from that Oxy and her stomach lurched with excitement at the thought of getting more. That was the best she'd ever felt. All of her shame and worry and anger about her grades had just slipped away as if they were a heavy winter coat that was no longer needed in the spring. That's what Oxy was like, she thought, spring melting into summer, warm and lazy and syrupy.

That feeling, or the remembrance of it, stuck with her for the rest of the weekend. When Monday rolled around and she walked to school with Lucas, she asked him about it.

"Can I have another one of those pills?" she whispered, even though no one was around to hear her.

Lucas shrugged his backpack off and put it on the sidewalk. After a few minutes of digging in the mounds of loose paper, he handed her the prescription bottle that only had two left in it.

"There were eight left on Friday night!" Nora exclaimed. "You took six this weekend?"

"I take a couple a day now," Lucas mumbled. "I barely feel anything with one anymore. But I saved these for you and me today."

"How can we get more?"

Lucas shook his head. "No idea. That's been bothering me a lot. I mean, there's no refill on here. I'm gonna ask that sophomore who sells us weed. Maybe he knows someone."

Nora felt uncomfortable. "That sounds... like street drugs that come from a hardcore dealer."

"It's not street. It's the same fucking pill. I just don't know how much, but we can pull together some money."

"Whatever. Let's just take these now," Nora said, pointing to a water fountain at the edge of their high school campus.

Lucas took hold of her arm as she started walking toward it. "Do you want to feel even better?" he asked softly.

"What do you mean?" Nora asked, looking back at him.

"I mean snorting it. I do it all the time. You get all the effects at once. It's intense as fuck! If you swallow it, it isn't as good because it's time released over hours and hours."

"I don't know... I've never snorted anything before. The only drug I do is weed! And not even that often. I think I'll just swallow mine. It feels more normal."

"Suit yourself," Lucas shrugged. "Just saying, it's the last pill we've got for awhile. You might wanna get the best out of it that you can."

Nora wavered for a second, then relented. "Okay. Show me how?"

The crowded high school campus was buzzing with voices, laughter, and the occasional scream. It was like this every morning. About fifteen minutes before the first bell rang, students congregated here because they weren't allowed into the building yet. It would be tough to do this with so many eyes around, but Lucas spotted a nearby picnic table under a shady tree, a little further away from the crowd. They would just have to be stealthy. He nodded at the empty table, and Nora followed him.

"You have a piece of paper?" he asked once they were seated and the noise of the students had grown faint.

Nora pulled out a page of her old math notes and handed it to him. She watched, mesmerized, as Lucas crushed the pills with the hard plastic bottom of her hairbrush. It took a long, long time to get the powder as fine as he wanted it. But finally there was a line of white on both sides of the paper.

"You got more notes?" Lucas asked.

"How many does this take?" Nora grumbled, passing over another sheet.