Reaper's Lullaby

Lucas: Addict Behavior

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
– Alice Walker

The ranch had a healing affect on everyone. Both Lucas and Nora grew stronger in the cold desert wind as they bundled hay, fed the animals or just walked by themselves in the pastures during their free time. The whole place was monitored so they couldn't do anything more than hold hands and steal an occasional kiss, but they both felt more alive than they had in a long time. The work was cleansing somehow.

Lucas's arms and abdomen grew firm and defined from all the heavy lifting, and Nora had color back in her cheeks, a glow of hope in her eyes that hadn't been there when they were strung out.

She was in the barn at the end of a clear, cold day in November when Lucas came looking for her with two steaming mugs in his hands.

"Lin made hot chocolate," he said, standing in the open doorway.

Lin, the cafeteria manager, rarely gave out special treats. She was in a perpetual bad mood.

"Ooohhh yes!" Nora exclaimed, taking one of the warm mugs. She blew steam from the top before taking a small, careful sip. "So good," she sighed happily.

Lucas smiled at her. "Figured you'd want some."

He pulled two crates together so they could sit in the relative warmth of the barn. As private as it felt, there were cameras even here.

"So what's next for us, baby?" Nora asked after awhile.

"You graduate. Me too. Then we get jobs and our own place," Lucas said.

"What about Chicago?"

"You still want to go?"

She nodded.

"Okay, Chicago it is then. We'll have to stay at my cousin's place for awhile to get on our feet."

"Fine with me. Anywhere's better than home. I can't wait to get away from people who hate me," Nora said softly.

"My mom doesn't hate you."

"Yeah well my own parents do. The sad part is I can't even blame them. I feel like such a colossal failure. Like I ruined our family."

"I know who you are, and you aren't a failure," Lucas said firmly.

He wrapped an arm around her and gave her a gentle kiss on the neck.

"Cameras, baby," she reminded him.

"Fuck the cameras," Lucas murmured against her skin. His warm kisses were even better than the hot chocolate. Nora couldn't help but shudder.

"I don't want you to get in trouble," she whispered, stiffening and moving away.

Lucas pulled back with a big sigh. "Fine. But just know I'm gonna make love to you the first chance I get. The airport has plenty of hidden corners."

Nora giggled. "So romantic. Is that why it's called a layover?"

Lucas shook his head. "God that's a terrible pun. Now that makes you a colossal failure."

"You're an asshole," Nora said with a laugh. She leaned her head against Lucas's shoulder. "We just gotta be patient."

"I hate that word." Lucas sighed.

Between the ranch work, endless group sessions and individual therapy, the weeks began to slip by. Thanksgiving was a sad affair in the cafeteria, and they were only allowed to call home on a single cordless phone in the common area that everyone used. The wait for it could take hours. When it was finally available, Lucas called his mother, but Nora didn't even bother calling her parents. He tried to pass the phone to her, but she refused it.