Monét
Have you ever thought someone was for you, but you know that they don't think so , the best yet worse type of feeling, they say love is the answer but is it really?
I woke up an hour later, my headache was gone but I needed to smoke, I had a lighter now I can't find it, I raced to my room and found a new one I got , lighting it , placed it in between my lips , inhaled it, and everything was great, the smell was amazing complete euphoria, I was content, I had no worries, everything is good right now, in my own world where everything is beautiful and good and I wanna stay there forever.
My life is boring, I'd much rather die, I just go to school, come back home to smoke and sleep, I received a message it was from my mom she sent me money, I asked her when she was coming back home , she said she wasn't sure, but I didn't care at this point, it was whatever, even if she came back she'd still be away.
I was on Instagram scrolling, watching beautiful girls make videos of themselves looking gorgeous, and boys would drool at their sight , sometimes l wanted to be that girl, who would post a picture and everybody would comment , but I was too lazy to do that , I'd much rather stay like this.
Tay told me she'd call me, but I didn't know when , I forgot to ask her where she was going, but she doesn't have to tell me everything like I'm her mom or something, I rolled my eyes, taking another huff.
Sometimes I'd spend my time reading books and writing poems, it is fun honestly my only favorite productive thing to do, you know when you find a good book and then you find yourself living inside the book, you feel you know the characters like you've seen them in real life, you live in the book so much that when it doesn't end the way you hoped it would it breaks you.
I wonder how mine would end , will it break me or make me.
I hated thinking about that, it broke me.
I never knew what I wanted to do with my life, ever since dad left I have no motivation left , my dad was the most famous doctor which inspired me to be like him, that's why I was studying to become a doctor, but since he is gone I don't have that desire anymore it died, I'm failing miserably because I'm not trying at all I don't know why I still go to school anyway.
I'm probably the worst person to ever exist on earth, I hate myself so much.
Nobody cares , no one gives a damn.
But she does.
Well yeah she does but one day she'll realize I'm not worth it and leave me, she's still probably here because she feels sorry for me I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me, I hate when people pity me.
I decided to take a walk since the sun was setting right now, I liked doing this because I loved sunsets so much, they brought me a kind of peace I crave for, I changed to a pair of sneakers , grabbed the house keys and my phone, I locked the door and left.
I was walking peacefully and I saw two twins with their parents at the ice cream shop, nothing could compare the happiness of the kids to anything, they were a beautiful family, "Hey mom , look at this girl she's pretty", a girl told her mom looking at me , I smiled as I approached them.
"She is very pretty, do you want to tell her", her mom told her squatting to reach her daughters height.
The cute girl nodded, "Hey what's your name you are very pretty", she told me with the cutest smile on her smile, which made my heart happy.
I took her hand in mine, "Why thank you princess, you look prettier", I told her and she blushed.
"My daughter never does this, she must like you very much", their dad spoke and I smiled, "she's lovely", I replied.
Her brother was quiet the whole time , he must not like me very much, "Hey there buddy", I greeted him but he didn't even glance at me, yep he didn't like me at all.
"Can you stay with us , we could be friends", the cute little girl asked me.
Before I could say anything, "Actually we were looking for a sitter, maybe if you could refer us to anyone you know that would be very helpful ", their mom told me.
"It's okay I can do it", I told her and she was so excited, "Really?! Thank you so much , you are really God sent", her mom hugged me, and l hugged her back, it was a motherly hug, I didn't want to let go, I felt happy but I did so that I don't seem weird.
"I'll give you my number so we can discuss this", I said and she handed her phone so I could enter my phone number.
I mean I had nothing better to do, maybe babysitting would help get a lot out of my mind.
"Thank you so much sweetie, what's your name?", Their dad asked, how stupid of me to not tell them my name, "Monét", I mumbled out.
Their mom smiled, "That's a beautiful name , my mother's name is Monét as well except she left earth a long time ago", she told me and I felt sad for her because I know how it feels , "I'm sorry to hear that, she's watching over you and your family", I said and she let out a small smile.
"It's okay thank you, you are a sweet girl, enjoy the rest of your day, I'll call you, we have to get going", she said and I nodded.
Their daughter hugged me and I hugged her back, she must really like me, "Bye pretty girl, I guess I will see you more often and we can be friends", I smiled at her statement, "Yes we can be friends, bye", I told her as they headed to their car.
I guess today was a good day, no matter what I did , Tay always managed to stay in my mind, she was stuck in my mind.
-xoxo.
