Taylor
I should've fucking ran after her, I could've thought of a way of keeping her, I fucked up so bad, I can't believe I made her feel so hurt while I knew she was broken from the start.
The day I met her, I want to keep her but Alicia happened, and things didn't go as planned, I genuinely care about Monét with everything in me, maybe I should've led her on.
I love Monét but I can't be with her, maybe I should go see her, I can't risk losing her over my mistakes, I'd rather die than lose her.
Then you should've followed her and fought but you let her go like the dumbass you are.
My conscience kept reminding me how much of a fucked person I really am, l know my sister is disappointed in me.
I never meant to hurt her, God knows I never meant for it to get this far, I never meant to break her heart, I messed up everything.
I was clouded by my feelings for Alicia for her, and it was a mess, I can't believe I can be so stupid, l tried calling her but her phone has been off all week , of course she didn't show up at school, she wouldn't want to see my face and worse that we attended the same classes.
I understood but I needed to know if she was okay, when I called her brother he told me that, she was losing herself day by day , and she absolutely blames herself for everything.
That's what she always does, she blames herself for everything, I asked him if I could come by and check on her but Monét doesn't want to see me.
He told me that Monét said she loves me and always will.
That has been messing with me all day.
All l can think about is whether she's okay that's dumb she's obviously not okay, but I want to be there for her, to hold her.
****
Monét
I couldn't bare the pain anymore, after several joints , I can't do this anymore.
The feeling I fought so much to never feel again came over me like an ocean, my wounds are opening up that I sat alone with alone in my room in the dark trying to tend, they are opening up again.
It feels like my efforts have gone to waste.
I tried everything, my pillow knows my eyes water every single day and night, my chest feels heavy, while I write this letter,
If you see this
Dominic l love you with everything in me , please take care of yourself and mom, promise that you won't cry for me, I'll be with dad and our brother, I'll be safer there and I'll always be with you every single day.
And mommy, after everything you've done that doesn't mean I don't love you, I love you so much , thank you for bringing into this world but I feel like this is the end.
Taylor , you're my everything, my angel, I love you so much, I forgive you, but I can't keep living I'm sick of life, everything I touch breaks, I can't keep fixing something that keeps breaking every time I have had a lot going on but I'm tired so tired.
I want you guys to know I love you so much.
Monét.
I cried hysterically, l couldn't breathe , it hurt so much, I can't keep living, I'm so tired , I don't care about anything else.
I want to find my peace.
I feel so empty.
The world is better without me, I'm better off somewhere else where nothing else matters, I'll be at peace.
The pills fell on my palm, I don't know how many they were, I had a glass of water next to me, I drank all the pills, along with a glass of water.
This is it.
I'm going to find my peace.
I love you Tay.
Then I blacked out.
The end.
We've reached the end🥺 I'm not crying, you are.
Not everyone gets a happy ending lol.
Just a little note :
Remember you are important, there are people who love you , work on yourself and start loving yourself, don't make someone the center of your happiness because it'll break you when they leave , start being your own happiness.
I love you all :)
Take care❤️
-xoxo.
