"murder", he says | xiaoven x reader

side chapter 1

side chapers are just ideal I had that didn't fit with the current plot, and will probably be short, anyway

"shit, man, come on do me a favour" you were scrubbing the ceramic of the bath vigorously, using every chemical you can find to rid of the blood stains.

last night, you took a job on xiaos behalf and got caught off guard, stumbling home in a daze from loss of blood, you supposed you slept in the bath as not to disturb the sleeping yaksha or to stain the bed.

plus, xiao would beat your ass faster than you can eat his ass if he found out you got this hurt on his behalf. you're just lucky he's still asleep. it was still very early after all.

"what are you doing cleaning before it is even dawn?" xiao is stood in the doorway to the bathroom, his hair is sticking up in ever direction and his face is scrunched up from drowsiness, almost pouting.

"uh. I just got back and im cleaning the bath after i used it." you lie smoothly, but what will you say about the stains?

"it looks bone dry- why is it stained? you cannot stain something as you have if there is water in it." maybe you should brutally murder him so you don't have to explain? wait, that's slightly counter productive. then he'd be dead.

"uh. I was dying my hair, a travelling merchant told be to use crushed everflame seeds and... bleach?"

"your hair looks the same."

"my pubes. I dyed my pubic hair red in the bath and it stained."

his eyes hesitantly drop lower, but shoot back up before they go too low.

"don't believe me?" you stand up and start to undo your pants, shimmying them down slightly. xiao turns on his heel and returns to bed immediately.

that worked. you peek down your pants and hum.

would they look good red?

"xiao, what colour are your pubes?" you button up your trousers and rinse your hands from chemicals, walking over to xiao who sat rubbing his eyes on the bed.

he doesn't answer, obviously.

"can i peek?"

"..." he crosses his arms.

"are you thinking about it, or...?"

"no."

"okay, well, venti's pubes are black if you're wondering if you match, but they like to keep it clear"

xiaos mouth is gaped open, eyes squinted and staring at you in disgust.

"...zhonglis are-" xiao disappears. you blink.

"...maybe he's pube shy"

"wait!" you slam your fist on your palm. "I get baths with him all the time! his pubes are the darker part of his hair and he totally only trims!" you walk off to find where he went.

"xiao, its okay I know!"