"murder", he says | xiaoven x reader

chapter nine

mostly dialogue today guys ly enjoy pov dumps lore on you in which I make it up as I go along (as always)

"this makes surprsing sense..."

"course it does."

"but... are you sure... your hand should be there?"

you look at your hand on his hip and smirk. "yeah, of course- want it lower?"

"any lower is just unreasonable."

you laugh. "you're picking up q sense of humour, love. let's take a break and have some tea."

you turn to the side table and pour your both cups.

"I've been thinking lately... you're not human... so what are you?"

seeing you serious is not something xiao sees often- and this immediate switch in atmosphere to something much more tense is something new.

"even mortals tales cant tell... some say a demon, some a powerful spirit, some say a god-"

"many gods are forgotten, overshadowed by the seven- their power unknown, forgotten to... time."

"do you hold resentment to the seven?"

"some. yes. my lord had introduced me to them- some people don't mix. morax grew on me eventually, luckily."

"you had a disliking to him?"

"didn't trust him. at that point I didn't even trust my lord- tried to kill him a few times."

"a few- why can't you tell me what you are? I think I deserve to know that much about you."

"a god"

"of?"

"war"

"you seem hesitant to tell me"

"because I am-" you pick up the cups of tea and turn to wards him smiling. "because if you know too much, you'll realise I'm no better than the evil spirits you live to hunt."

"I want to know. you neednt worry of me trying to kill you. I won't."

"reassuring..."

"...please"

"...fine, ask what you want. but only because you're to grouchy to talk to others that you have no one to tell-"

"how did barbatos find you?"

"before the archon war, I had a home- something to protect. I used to be a spirit of a small village I sought to protect- the villagers there took care of me in return for the protection. when the war started- everything was destroyed. by what you fought. we had a common enemy"

xiao takes his tea from your hands as you sit down with your own.

"that's when I became a god of calamity- I wanted to kill, desperately, to cause pain. I made a deal for power. the power to kill anything that crossed my path."

"what did that cost you? that doesn't come cheap"

you bite your lip, eyebrows creasing in worry at his reaction. "I... can't say. I can't. not right now."

"...okay"

"like I said, I had a common enemy now- I saved my lords life from those vile spirits- but he saved mine ten times over after that. I was indebted to him. in more says than one. I owed him more than he even knows now... I devoted my life to any cause he had, fighting beside him in the archon war."

"morax told me that you had unknown significant turnings in the war. what did he mean by that?"

"the beings I killed"

"who did you kill that would make him say that?"

"he was probably referring to that... I killed Zhong Kui and his army..."

xiao's cup drops out his hand to the floor, thankfully not shattering.

"then... then why am I not dead? if you could kill the 80,000 demons he controls then surely I was insignificant-"

"it was more like 45,000- a lot had fallen- but the day I came to purge your previous master was the same day zhongli saved you- I wouldn't be surprised if it was his big plan. no doubt he'd strike it down to fate. I guess our destinies were intertwined"

"yes, I could have been the one of many you killed. I thought venti had the highest body count in the archon war, but it must have been you."

"I was... completely unhinged. I killed on order or just simple disliking. it was only after the war where venti taught me to be... human- that I stopped killing so easily."

"something similar to my story, then"

you nod, fidgeting with your cup.

"what aren't you telling me?- no- what haven't you told anyone?" god. how did he figure it out?

you bite your nails, tea shaking in your cup in reprocussion to the trembling of your body.

"I can't say"

"this has been torturing you for thousands of years."

"it will haunt me even if I tell you"

"just how bad is this?"

"I killed someone- someone significant- someone dear to many. but it wasn't my fault, they were is so much pain- so much agony- I needed to help- they begged me-"

"...was it someone dear to me?" xiaos voice was almost a whisper.

"yes..." your voice cracks with a whimper, taking a shaky breath.

"please, tell me who..."

"xiao-"

"please."

youre barely keeping tears back now, each break trembling and the feeling of genuine fear to his reaction makes you want to vomit.

"I killed Indarias..."

Xiao closes his eyes as soon as the name leaves your mouth. You can feel the pain he's in, how dull he's feeling hearing this now.

"you killed her to free her... tell me... truthfully... would she be here now had you not killed her...?"

"no... she was so far gone- i- I came upon her in the battlefield, noticed her as one of morax's kin. she looked like she was in pain so I went to defend her... she had her weapon to her own throat, she was screaming in pain yet not one thing signalled physical pain"

"her karmic debt..."

you nod. "as soon as I stopped her, she begged me to kill her, she was so desperate to die. that's all she wanted... her hands that gripped my shoulders scarred me from how tight she held me out of pain... out of complete need of death... I thought... the least I could do was give her her last wish before she completely lost her mind..."

youre sobbing now, breaths only now gasps between spluttered words. "I dont want to see that happen again, I dont want that to happen to you, I can't let that happen to you..."

xiao is silent for a moment, and you keep quiet. he needs as much time as he wants. it's nit your place to ask for comfort.

"her death... was it peaceful...?"

"I used a spell that let her fade away with good memories... she smiled at me and thanked me before she passed... I think... she was happy..."

"...then... thank you" he stands.

"xiao...?"

"I had believed she was ripped apart by my friends blinded by insanity. to know she went happily is all I can ask for. I would have done the same. so thank you."

you hug him tight, and he wraps his arms around you just as firmly back. you notice his eyes are glazed over and his breathing is uneven.

"I love you"

you hug him tighter.

"I love you too, xiao."

pov how many chapters do I end with I love you