"murder", he says | xiaoven x reader

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hey lovelies ☺☺☺ so I'm writing a xiaoven fanfiction on the side and i used to have a tonne written however a bit got deleted- but! I have part of the first chapter written and I would really love it if I could hear your opinions 🙏🙏🙏 ill probably be posting it on ao3 but if my oomfs only read here I'll probably cross post it! I'll probably still update this one more frequently because I'm more relaxed about how long the chapters are here so it's a lot easier! Without further ado- please enjoy!

Xiao remembers a time where he read about pathetic fallacy. At the time, he didn't really believe it was a thing that could happen in real life- too much of a coincidence. There was no way the weather could know how he feels. No way that as the rain hammered down on the roof, as the wind shook the windows and as thunder bellowed in the distance, that it was telling him that it understood.

Xiao was sure that not even a natural disaster would compare to the ringing in his ears and emptiness in his chest as he stared at the casket. There was no family to wail, no hands to revieve condolence donations. There was even very few attending the funeral. Xiao supposes that as Zhongli lead his life his friends dwindled- just as every immortal soul from teyvat did as they watched their human companions aged whilst their forms were preserved. Xiao supposes he was right in his initial avoidance to mortals. This was all it would lead to. Loss, pain and desperation.

Xiao wonders if he met all Zhongli's final wishes well as he organised the funeral- but this question in his mind just tells him how desperately he is going to miss the mentorship his father provided him. Was this a selfish thought to have? To miss his father when, surely, his father must be in much worse pain.

When Xiao zones back in, Ganyu is gently hovering her hand over his shoulder as he catches the end of his name being called. He opens his mouth to speak before closing it shortly after feeling the lump in his throat, not trusting himself to speak. He nods in acknowledgement to her, hoping that's enough.

Her eyebrows softly crease in worry as she withdrawals her hand and instead takes both of Xiao's hands and leads him to sit on a chair.

"Xiao? Are you okay?" Ganyu asks. Stupid question, she knows, but she had to ask something to know if he was in his head.

Xiao gives a slow, dazed nod and whilst Ganyu knows he's in a lot of pain right now, she's grateful he's back from the depths on his mind. She hesitates before bringing him into a hug and she feels him tense, before his arms wrap around her body and holds her tight. Xiao figures that she needed this hug and there was no way he was going to deny his mourning sister. He also won't deny the fact that, maybe, he needed it too.

A few more people had attended the service. Xiao had greeted them all with Ganyu at the door when it started- remembering shaking hands and exchanging words with only a handful of people from the bygone age of Teyvat. The Inazumans Ei, Yae Miko and Scaramouche had arrived earlier this week from the island of Japan- he should remember to speak to them and the other nations Archons during the small party that Ganyu organised.

Xiao looks to his pocket when he feels his phone vibrating and goes to turn it off when he notices Venti's name. Xiao didn't even realise he hadn't arrived. Xiao picks up.
"Ven-"

"Xiao! I'll be there in 15 minutes, I've just got off my flight- I'm sorry, it was cancelled-" Venti starts and Xiao hears him speak to what he assumes is the taxi driver in a panicked rush and broken chinese.

"It's okay. Don't worry. You have time." Xiao manages to say. His grip on his phone is shaking ever so slightly, but the way his voice was trembling was clear.

"Okay, I'll see you soon, yeah? I hope you're okay." He says.

Xiao bids them farewell before hanging up, putting his phone away.

"Venti's not far." Xiao whispers to Ganyu, who nods.

It feels like only seconds to Xiao before he notices in the corner of his eye that Ganyu stands and Venti replaces her.

"Oh, Xiao..." Venti says, slowly reaching a hand out to his forearm in comfort- not that it offered any relief to his pain. Only time will- lots and lots of time.

"Countless people said he's in a better place." Xiao starts, voice raw, aching. Venti listens. "What place could be better than here, with those that love him?" Xiao let's out a shaky breath and holds his head in his hands, tears dripping onto the floor. "What better place than with me?"

It takes Venti a second to think of what to say after Xiao finishes. Any idea he had felt useless- knowing none of it would reach Xiao's heart. Venti knows that he's right, in a way. It was total bullshit in all honesty, but there's no way Venti will say anything along those lines to the absolutely crumbling heart of the boy infront of him.

"Zhongli was someone who had many friends in the afterlife, I have no doubt that they're throwing him the reunion party they've had planned for eons right now." They attempt a vocal, light hearted laugh- but it comes out as one, small, sad breath out his nose instead. Xiao doesn't respond but instead sniffles and wipes his nose and eyes. Venti sighs and tuts in a light hearted tone.

"What did I tell you, hm? If you keep wiping your eyes with your sleeves, you'll rub them raw." He scolds jokingly, taking a soft handkerchief from the inside pocket of his freshly ironed blazer and gently dabbing Xiao's eyes. It feels much better than his rough sleeves, but he can feel the sting from the previous treatment. Venti places the handkerchief in Xiao's hand and smiles solemnly at him.

Venti looks to the casket infront of them both and squeezes Xiao's hand before standing, walking over slowly and standing next to it. Xiao watches from a distance as they whisper something that he can't make out, before pulling the Cecelia that they have worn in his hair for many, many years and places it in the casket. Xiao sucks in a breath to keep another round of tears back. His throat burns.

Cecelias are akin to lilies these days. They came to represent mourning a few decades ago- he briefly remembers Venti mentioning something about how fitting it is. Xiao looks away to give Venti privacy after that. It felt wrong to watch a persons mourning- especially one so personal.

Xiao is looking around quickly as he feels that strangling feeling in his chest climb up his throat. His eyes dart around the room, brimmed with tears as his leg shakes. He swiftly stands, waving a hand briefly to a worried Ganyu and heads to the bathroom. He slams the door behind him once he's in and turns the taps cold water on with trembling hands as his breathing picks up.

As his hands sit under the cold water, he looks up at his red and puffy face in the mirror. And that's it- he just can't anymore.

He screams. In absolute burning agony- whilst he slowly falls to his knees, gripping his hair and curling his knees close to his chest. The wails bounced off the walls of the bathroom and have surely altered a few guests. But why should he care?

Why should he give one fucking shit about what those insignificant assholes think about him mourning? What- what business do they have? To even comment on the emptiness that he's feeling.

And then he feels his arms wrapped around him, cradling him so sweetly, so softly. The pains still there, yes, but these arms- these arms make everything just a bit easier. The choked sobs still leave his mouth, the tears, snot and drool are still staining his shoulder and Xiao's hands are still gripping their sides- but it's okay. It's okay.

"Venti..." Xiao starts, attempting to steady his breath.

"Yes, Xiao?" His voice comes quietly- not in that condescending tone every other person has used on him. In a way that sounds like maybe, just maybe, he cares.

"Will you- will you please stay with my tonight?" He asks- Xiao learnt a long time ago that it's okay to ask for help- thanks to Zhongli. It feels so good to know he has someone he can depend on. Even if its just for a while.

"Of course I will, I'll be by your side for as long as you need."