"murder", he says | xiaoven x reader

chapter eleven

in your sleep that night, you have a dream. it's one you haven't had in a long time, now. perhaps it was the change in atmosphere that made you feel uneasy- but as you wake in your dream, the anxiety embraces you.

looking at the floor infront of you, you see blood. so much that as you push yourself up from the singed grass, you're covered in it. the sounds of screams and clashes on swords surround you. this setting was all too familiar.

when was the last time you had a dream of the archon war?

you stand, noticing you can't feel any part of your body. you're grateful, the reality would be that multiple bones are already fractured and there are many tears that ooze blood on your skin.

there was so much blood, but where were the bodies? had they been dragged behind each sides lines? definitely not. they had no time to. those who were dead lay in their blood to be trampled over. war held no mercy for those weak enough to fall.

unknowing to this being a fake reality, you look around for your weapon. you can't find your own, so you pick up a sword near you. likely belonging to a comrade.

"idis, I found you..."

you turn quickly. barbatos is standing behind you. he's covered in blood, too and he was missing pieces of armour- most of the blood luckily seemed to not be his, however.

"my lord..." you start, shoulders slumping and a choked sob escaping your mouth.

they embrace you, bow returning to his back. you hug him back tightly and take a shaky breath.

"what happened?"

"the army morax sent you to defeat- you must have fell after you completed your mission. I've been looking for you since." he hugs you tighter, stuffing his head in your neck. "liyue has taken a strong fall, we must head there to support them in battle and liberate The Chasm once more. the enemies troops are heading East towards Lisha."

you nod. "are you okay? is mondstadt okay?" you look around now and recognise where you are. just on the border between milin and lisha. "and if i killed the troops, where are the bodies?" you look at the ground, to the blood that rippled at the slightest movement.

"im fine, mondstadt's defences are holding for now."

"and the bodies?"

barbatos glances at you, then the floor.  "were standing in them... their bodies have been reduced to liquid after what you did..."

you wake up after that, breathing heavily through your nose. you look around the room, noticing venti is sitting up too.

"did you have the same dream?" venti asks.

"the archon war? that time you found me in minlin..."

he nods, flopping back down on the bed. it's dark- late at night and curtains shut tightly. you can barely make out ventis figure. he shifts a few more times, trying to sleep, rubbing his eyes now and then.

you shift yourself, sliding your legs off the bed and dragging your pillows and blanket over to venti. you slide into the other side, placing your pillows down and laying your blanket on top of ventis. he doesn't say anything- curling into your torso as you yawn and lazily drape your arm over him.

"can we talk?" he asks.

you put one hand under your head and draw circles with your finger on ventis back with your other.

"what do you want to talk about?"

"do you think about the war often."

you hum. "I do, hard not to. I did horrible things, it didn't matter what side you were on, you did merciless things."

venti nods, how shifts and clicks a side lamp on. you can see now how troubled he looked. you lift your hand, stroking his loose hair, focusing on where his braids would strain if they were in.

"I don't know how anyone survived. sometimes I'd hoped all of it would just fall."

"do you think it was worth it?"

"sometimes... no... so many people were  forgotten."

you pause. "...your friend hasn't been forgotten, venti..."

he looks down, frowning deeply. you can tell he's holding back tears. you start stroking his hair again. you sit up as a tear falls, leaning over him.

you place soft, lingering kisses on his face and head- finishing with one on each corner of his lips.

"I can't wish away your grief, but I will always be here for you, barbatos, not through heavenly duties, simply because I hold you so dearly... just as you are here for me... as you always have been..."

"why do you think you hold debt to me...? you owe me nothing- and I, I owe you everything I could ever have and everything I could ever feel. more than my life is worth." venti sighs, breath shaky and as he brings a smile to his face, you see it wavering into a look of pain- tears in his eyes.

"venti..."

"the way you treat me... it makes me feel sick with how happy I feel. even with years apart, I ached knowing how much you care." he looks up at you. "I've handed you my heart and you've kept it so safe... protected it with all the love you have to give me... but why? why have you done that?"

"simple... because you deserve it..."

"deserve...? I deserve the exact opposite of what you give me."

"venti?"

"yes?"

"can I kiss you?"

venti looks over to you, both your faces flushed. he pulls the sheets just below his eyes.

"why?"

"what do you mean why? because I really want to..."

"that's... that's fair... okay... you can kiss me"

you shift closer to them and curl his hair hind his ear, leaning in to his face. he quickly licks his lips after you close your eyes, leaning in himself.

you kiss him ever so gently, smiling when you feel that his lips are slightly damp. his hand lays on your upper chest and you feel your cheeks wet from his tears before you lift your hands to wipe them, pulling away slowly.

he silently curls back into your chest and quietly sniffles. you hold him close as he drifts to sleep.