She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not (gxg)

Part 47

Colby was going to have surgery done on her spine at the end of May.

Her Doctor's decided the surgery would give her the best shot possibly walking again, and an overall better quality of life.

We all hoped she would be able to walk again. Go back to work. Drive. Live her life as normal as possible again and not just have her days filled with therapy, appointments, and despair.

She was doing a bit better mentally. She got out on anti-depressants, which took the edge off. The surgery was also making her very hopeful.

I was looking forward to the end of May- I was going to have a month off of school, and I needed it. I still was not quite sure how I managed this far. One more year. And this coming year was mostly clinical rotations. I felt like that was more doable.

Dani's father was responding very well to his treatment, which I knew she was relieved about. She was still under stress- but started talking to a therapist to help manage it.

Everyone else seemed to be doing well overall- I mean, I had no idea how my mom was. Charlotte has tried calling her, but she didn't pick up or call back. I hadn't seen my dad since the gender reveal, but Charlotte said he seemed a lot happier in his relationship with Taraji. Charlotte was due in August, and was now in the point of her pregnancy where she felt really good.
I couldn't help but think about when the baby was born- would they still want me there living with them? Or would they want to be their "own family" so to speak?

My 24th birthday came and passed- Dani and I went to a nice dinner for it, and spent the night together- just the two of us. I kept thinking about how different my last birthday was compared to this one. I was in a better place now.

The day of Colby's surgery was ironically my last day of class before break. I asked my professors if I could take off- due to my friend having major surgery, and they were totally fine with it.

Dani and I went to Colby's house the night before. She was smiling more than I was used to- and it was nice to see.
"You seem like you're in good spirits." Dani said to Colby.
"I'm really hopeful." Colby said, "You know- if this all works out for me, and I'm able to even regain some movement- I'm changing my life. I'm going back to school. I want to make something of myself." Colby said, and then she looked at me, "And I'm going to be better to people. I'm sorry...Jane. I'm just sorry for everything."
I looked at Colby, and our eyes met. "It's okay. I don't want you to even worry about it." I said.
"Well, I feel awful." Colby said, "And I can clearly see how good you and Dani are together now."
Dani smiled at me, "Agreed."

When Dani and I were in the car leaving Colby's, she said, "I am really glad Colby is so optimistic about this. But I'm just really worried, what if the surgery doesn't work out like we all want?"
"Then we will take it from there." I said, "But I have a good feeling this is going to make her life so much better."

Dani, Claire, Colby's brothers, and I were at U Penn bright and early the day of her surgery. She wanted all of us there.
It was going to be a long surgery. The doctor said it could be an all day process.
There could be complications as well. But I didn't even want to go there.

Dani and I saw Colby right before she was going to be wheeled to the OR.
"I'm going to kick surgery's ass." she said.
"We'll be here right when you are finished kicking it's ass." Dani smiled at her.
"Even if it takes like ten hours?" Colby asked.
"We are going to be here as long as it takes." I reassured her.
"You two are great friends." Colby smiles at us.

Friends. Never in a million years did I think Colby and I could be just friends. But here we are. Friends.

Hours went by and Colby still wasn't out of surgery. Dani and I waited with her brothers and mom in her room. We all didn't say much, just sat there waiting. Nervous. Impatient.