Unexpected 2 [FR/EN]

Chapitre 26

Tom's point of view

She dumped me. How could she let me down like that ? Like I wasn't important. She set me out like I didn't exist anymore. How the fuck did she do that ? I thought... I thought she loves me so much that she would never let me down at a time like this. Fuck... I screwed up so bad that the woman I love went to the hospital without me... all to make sure our baby's OK. How the fuck did I get there ? Fuck !
I'm running to the stadium calling a security guard waiting outside the gates.
- Hey ! I need someone to drive me to the nearest hospital !
The three guys look at each other like I was out of my mind. I clap my hands to get their attention.
- Hey guys ! I need a driver now !
One of them seems to finally wake up.
- Why ? Are you hurt ? It might be worth calling an ambulance...
- Fuck no ! I just need to get to the nearest hospital now ! I can't drive in this suit.
All three are looking at each other again and I slowly begin to lose patience.
- But maybe we should warn someone, right ? Your manager or something...
They will fucking drive me crazy !
- I don't need the whole world to know, I just need a fucking car to drive me to the fucking hospital ! Fuck !
My panicked look seems to wake them up a little more, and one of them finally takes the lead.
- OK, I'll drive you.
He walks by me, pulling keys out of his pocket.
- My car is over there.
I follow him with a quick step, feeling my legs are already shaking.
- Thanks dude.
I just have time to put my ass in his car that two silhouettes join us, waving their arms.
- Fuck...
The guy behind the wheel doesn't even dare start the car.
- Maybe we should wait for them.
- I don't fucking have time to wait !
I turn to him in the hope that he will listen to me and follows my orders as his life depended on it.
- Man, my girlfriend is in the hospital because she's losing our baby so start the fucking car please !
I said please hoping it would make him react, like a magic word that could have teleport me straight to the hospital. But that was without counting on the two new ones who have already joined the car, and one of them is already knocking on my window. Zendaya's face appears as one more problem.
- What the fuck are you doing ?
I hear her through the window and I'm forced to open it to answer.
- I don't have time for explanations, I have to go to the hospital right now.
- What ?
I turn to the guy next to me, losing patience.
- We have to go now.
He starts the car, and that's when Zendaya chose to grab my arm.
- Wait ! Tell me what the fuck is happening.
I take my arm from her hand, feeling my nerves go away.
- Elena went to the hospital with that asshole Timothée and I have to go join her, so I have no time to waste with you !
Her face is decomposing and I know her well enough to know it's a bad sign.
- You have no time to waste with me ?
Oh fuck... I'm in deep shit.
- That's not what you said when you undressed me last night.
- Well it was a fucking mistake !
I screamed so loud that she took a step back.
- I should never have done that and you know it.
- Why ? Because she made you think she was pregnant with your child ?
She starts to smile as she was making fun of me, to make me understand that I'm stupid.
- But she fucked with Timothée so many times that there's a ten times better chance that it's his kid instead of yours !
What a fucking bitch ! I knew she didn't love Elena, but not to the point of hurting me to keep me to herself.
- I thought you were my friend... but friends don't hurt like that.
She seems struck by what I just said, and if I had more time I would have yelled at her for treating the woman I love like a liar, like a slut. But I don't have the time, because she cames first. Elena cames first.
- I love her. And I don't give a shit what you think, because I know she loves me too. More than anyone will ever do. And that baby she's carrying... it's mine. And having sex with you means nothing next to them. Because Elena and the baby are my family. And I have to go take care of my family now.
I close the window turning towards the driver.
- Can we please go now ?
The car is finally moving, and I still hear Zendaya's voice through the window.
- Yeah, get out ! Go take care of your family before Timothée does it for you !
Fuck ! Why does she have to be right about that ?
- Wich hospital do we have to go to ?
I look at the guy next to me, trying to remember the name of that fucking hospital.
- Grady memorial, or something like that.
- OK.
He's taking the road like this fucking situation looks normal. But fuck there's nothing normal about that. That fucking bastard stole my place like I was nothing. Like it wasn't my wife. My baby. I just want to fucking pop his last eye out. Why she had to come with him ? I'm sure she's been with him since she left the town. Why does she always have to be with him when things don't go well between us ? I'm beginning to believe he's as important as me. Fucking son of a bitch !
The car stops in front of the hospital, and I don't have time to get out off until the guy pulls out a jacket from behing to give it to me.
- To hide the suit.
I take it, thanking him, feeling stupid for not thinking about it first.
- I will go find a place for the car and I'll come over to make sure no one bothers you.
I nod before I put on this jacket to get out of the car. When I walk through the doors, the emergency room is almost full of people. I put on my hood, like this gives me the power not to be recognized and I go to the reception desk, my hands already shaking.
- Hello Ma'am, I come to see my wife, she was admitted here not even an hour ago, she arrived by ambulance.
The woman in front of me barely glances at me and looks at the sheets stacked on her desk.
- Surname, first name and the reason of her admission.
OK, stay fucking calm, it's gonna be alright. Only if this woman accept to hurry the fuck up !
- Martin Elena, she's pregnant and she lost blood.
She searches into his files without even looking at me.
- Well... your wife is in the middle of an exam, I'm going to ask you to please wait.
She finally looks up at me and I have to control myself so I don't yell at her that I belong with her, unlike that son of a bitch Timothée. I turn around and look for a place to sit, but I absolutely don't want to sit. And I start turning on myself, thinking about this asshole holding my Elena's hand while the doctor talks to them about our baby. I can't stop thinking about his hand in hers, it fucking kills me. Why did she choose him to come here ? This is my baby ! My wife ! Fuck ! I take a look at the door that opens at the same time. And a fucking model face magically appears, ruining all my chances of staying calm. I join him in two steps, and his two fucking blue eyes so much beautiful than mine are freaking me out.
- Where the fuck is she ?
He's a head taller than me wich makes my threatening look totally ridiculous.
- A nurse is examining her.
A nurse ? Oh fuck...
- Did you see the baby ?
If that asshole saw my baby before me I swear to God I'm gonna...
- No.
No ? And I'm supposed to believe that ? How can I trust this motherfucker ?
- Then why did you leave her ?
His stupid face comes out of my eyes. I hate him so fucking much.
- She didn't want me to stay during the exam.
Really ? Why would she want him to leave ?
- I thought if you took my place in that ambulance, she would leave you my place as a husband too.
He starts to smile, and I hate his smile even more than anything else. Looks like he's fucking with me.
- Last I heard, you haven't married her yet.
Fucking son of a bitch !
- And for the record... she asked me to leave so I wouldn't see her naked... because believe it or not, it hasn't happened yet.
He's smiling again. Sure this time he's laughing at me.
- But after what you did with Zendaya... it seems like I have a good chance of seeing that happening right now.
And he walks by me like he doesn't deserve to have his head ripped off. Did he just say he wanted to see my Elena naked or am I dreaming ? I find him sitting in the middle of the waiting room, like everything was fine. But there's nothing fucking fine right now ! The woman I love might be losing our baby and I'm forced to wait around like an asshole with the fucking guy who's obsessed with her ! Fuck !
I take it upon myself to join him and sit next to him when all I fucking want to do right now is blow his head to the ground. We sit in silence for long minutes, before the words escape from my mouth.
- You have no idea how much I hate you.
I feel his psychopathic blue eyes landing on me as I force myself to look at the ground.
- It's easy for me to imagine it.
His annoying tone forces me to look up at him, and I must draw on my last strength not to tear his eyes out.
- But it lets me imagine how much you love her.
Fuck ! Is he trying to make me like him ?
- Of course I love her moron... more than you for sure.
He starts laughing, and it just pisses me off a little more.
- Moron... you're British, no doubt.
What the fuck is he meaning ?
- But I thought you British were real gentlemen ?
What's he trying to do with his fucking question ?
- Cheating on the woman you love isn't exactly being a gentleman.
Fuck ! This asshole is judging me.
- I have no advice to take from a guy who kisses women by force because no one wants him.
And he laughs again, what a psychopath !
- And who do you think she will forgive first ? The one who broke her heart by sleeping with another girl ? Or the one who didn't resist the call of her lips because he's totally crazy in love with her ?
I squeeze my fists in my lap so I don't pu one in his face. He's a fucking manipulator, I was right all along ! This bastard knows exactly what he's doing.
- Because you think it's love ? I think you're obsessed. You're obsessed with her like a fucking psychopath who idealizes her, who sees her as a fantasy. You're not in love with her, you just want to fuck her because she didn't want you the first time, and that hurt your fucking ego. You're just a freak. Am I right ?
His fucking blue eyes hangs on me like he already imagined pulling my head off the rest of my body.
- Yeah... you might be right.
He sinks into his chair, looking straight ahead like he had to control his anger, juste like I did a few minutes ago.
- I'm obsessed with her. I'm a freak, obsessed with your girlfriend. So much that I noticed how bad she was from the first look that night, at the Cherry premiere.
What the fuck is he talking about ? Does this have anything to do with what he said earlier ? About her desire to die. But... Elena didn't try to kill herself. I would have known.
- She never told you, right ?
I'm forced to support his blue eyes, knowing deep down that eventually I don't know everything about Elena.
- What are you talking about ?
- The scar on her arm.
My heart explodes. And he doesn't need to say more to make me understand. I remember when I first saw this scar. We were in the shower and she was getting ready to meet my family. I immediately thought of this idea of attempted suicide. I thought about it right away. But she told me it was a car accident, and it was so much easier to hear that. So much easier to believe this version. I'm so fucking stupid.
- How did you know ? Did she tell you ?
It hurts me to know that he knew before me, that he noticed before me. But I have this feeling deep down that finally I always knew. I just hide this thought until now. Because I didn't have the strength to face this reality. The reality in which the woman I love wanted to die. And the truth is I still don't have the strength to face this.
- She didn't have to. I knew in her eyes what had happened.
It fucking hurts. I look down to my feet, hoping to hide my tears. How did I miss that ? Why didn't I look further ? Why didn't I try to see in her eyes that she had gone through such a horrible thing ? I'm just a fucking idiot !
- Do you know what happened exactly ?
I don't even dare look him in the eyes, I'm so ashamed. She was my girlfriend, my wife, I had to take care of her and I couldn't even see that she wasn't OK.
- We talked about it a few times. She never told me the details, but she told me...
I can feel him looking at me, it's like a weight so heavy that it weighs on my shoulders.
- She told me she couldn't take it anymore, that it was too hard.
I look up and swallow my pride, letting him see the tears that threaten to drown my cheeks.
- What was too hard ? Why did she do that ?
He looks down in his turn, almost shameful too. Does he have anything to reproach himself ?
- Living without you. She coudln't live without you.
- Fuck !
My head falls into my hands, too heavy with guilt to still stand on my shoulders. So this is my fault ? She want to die because of me. And I just gave her a new reason to try it again.
- But when did this happen ?
He looks at me silently for a few seconds, like he was afraid to answer.
- On her birthday. After she came back from Cleveland without you.
- What...
No... how could she do that on her birthday ?
- You sent her a package that day, with that beautiful letter inside.
A package ? Oh shit... I remember. I prepared this package but Harry sent it.
- She called you that day.
Fuck... I remember that day. That call. I've been evil. I had been drinking and I said such horrible things that I would be unable to say again. So this is my fault. She almost died because of me. And I could have lost her forever if she hadn't had the strength to survive. How could she forgive me for that ? She's forgiven me so many times for all the horrors I've done to her. But this time it's too much. This time she won't forgive me, but she has no choice but to stay strong, to stay alive because of me. Because of the baby. I still deprived her of her choices. That's why she didn't want to come to the hospital. Because if she had lost the baby, she could have done it again. She could have tried to kill herself again.
Fuck... I just saved her life by forcing her to keep our baby alive. I'm just a fucking selfish. I didn't do it for her but for me. Because I don't want to lose her. I refuse to let her go, and by saving our baby I save the "us" that I broke by sleeping with Zendaya. I keep breaking her and forcing her to stay alive, all just for me. I force her to live with all the pain I inflict on her and all out of selfishness. What a fucking psychopath I am too.
The doors open again, and Timothée and I both looked up at the same time. And that's when she shows up, with that beautiful face that made me fall in love with her. She's so beautiful I can't even explain it. I jumped out of the chair to join her, and when I arrived in front of her, her face is much paler than I remembered. And her green eyes, her perfect green eyes look at me differently. With sadness. Fuck...
- Did something happen to the baby ?
She looks down for a second, before looking at me again with that sad look that breaks my heart.
- Non. Le bébé va bien. Il va très bien même.
Is the baby OK ? Is that what she just said ?
- But... what did the nurse say ? Did you get to see the baby ?
She takes a look at Timothée who joined us, and I feel like she almost asks him for his consent to answer me.
- Yeah, I saw him. I mean... we can hardly see anything at the moment, it's too soon, but I saw him.
I can't stop myself from grabbing her shoulders and force me not to hug her.
- But is he OK ? Is everything OK ?
I can't stop looking at her perfect green eyes that look at me so sadly. I feel like there's no more love in her eyes, and I know I deserved it.
- Above all... are you OK ?
I see her lips shaking, like she was holding back from crying, or yelling at me, I don't really know.
- No. I'm not OK.
She doesn't give me time to feel my heart break when she takes a step back And while she looks at me with her pretty eyes, I already understand that it's over.
- The baby is fine, that's what you wanted. Now I'm gonna leave, and this time you're the one who has no choice.
She passes by me to reach the exit, followed closely by Timothée.
- Wait !
I follow her out, where the guy in charge of my security arrives a little late.
- Where are you going ? You can't leave me like this !
She stops to turn to me, looking exhausted.
- Je rentre chez moi, Tom. Et c'est non négociable.
What the fuck is she saying ? I walk up to her, begging her.
- Please, Elena, your home is with me, in Kingston.
I look again at Timothée who's turn back into an asshole I can't stand.
- Not anywhere with him.
Elena looks at me angry this time, sadness is still there, but anger took over.
- My home is in France, not with you anymore, Tom.
My heart takes a hit, but what can I do about it ? I deserve that.
- Qu'est-ce que tu croyais au juste ? Que j'allais rester ? You fucking cheated on me, Tom ! How the fuck can I stay now ?
She shakes her head and the sadness is back, drowning her beautiful eyes.
- My heart is bleeding, and it's your fault. Now... don't worry about the baby, I will take care of him on my own, because I can only count on myself now.
She takes a look at Timothée, as if I no longer existed.
- On y va.
And she turns her back on me with one last look. One last terrifying look. Empty of love, but full of disappointment.
- Wait ! You can't leave me like this ! I'm allowed to have news of the baby, he's mine too !
She walks away without even looking at me. And it fucking hurts.
- Texts ! That's all you will have !
Her voice is far away, and I'm not even allowed to see her eyes looking at me one last time. She's gone. And I'm all by myself now. Texts... that's all I'm allowed to have about my baby. It means I will never hear her voice anymore. What the fuck did I do ? I just lost the woman I love, and the right to raise our child with her. How did I get here ? So that's it ? Is that how it is now ? I'm going to end my life like a piece of shit, with no wife or child by my side ? My child will grow up without me, in another country. And this is all my fault. I fucked everything up like a fucking asshole. And all I have left now... is my eyes to cry. I'm totally fucked up.