Renegade

Chapter 10

I had no choice but to attend school after lunch and meet my thesis adviser. Well, there's Alex and I don't know how to act in front of him.

Pagkatapos ng mga nangyari kagabi— hindi ko sigurado kung paano ko siya haharapin.

"Are you okay, Clarisse?"

Napabuntong hininga ako bago kiming tumango sa tanong ni Alex. Kalalabas lang naming dalawa mula sa office ng adviser namin after he checked our outlines.

"Sigurado ka? You're pale and you're eyes are puffy."

Sino bang may kasalanan? I am being like this because of him.

"I have to go. May dadaanan pa ako sa library." Nagkunwari akong may inaayos sa loob ng bag ko habang mabilis na lumalakad palayo sa kaniya. This was the only way I could act to him— avoid him and save my heart from further heartbreak.

But then, he grabbed my arm and pulled me. "Alex! Kailangan ko na talagang umalis!"

"Just give me a few minutes. We really need to talk."

I bit the insides of my cheeks as we reached the greenhouse at the back of the agriculture department building. Doon lang binitawan ni Alex ang braso ko. Nanatili akong nakayuko— nakapako ang mga tingin ko sa sapatos niya. I just can't meet his eyes. I might burst out of tears again once I saw his empty gaze at me.

"Do we really have to talk?" I asked. My voice came out hoarse and low.

"About what you see last night," Alex took a step forward and I stood stuck in my place, "it's nothing."

I was stunned for a fe seconds before I finally raised my head. Nakakunot ang noong tinagpo ko ang mga mata niya. For some reason, he was looking at me with eyes bearing unrecognizable emotions. Ilang beses akong napakurap para siguraduhin na totoo ang nakikita ko. Alex never looked at me with emotions— he was just always... friendly and casual to me.

Pero ngayon...

"Don't cry again because of me," sabi niya bago muling hinawakan ang braso ko.

My jaw clenched as surge of tingling sensation ran down my spine due to the contact. "I-I am not crying because of you."

Napabuntong hininga siya habang nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko nang bumaba ang pagkakahawak niya mula sa braso ko papunta sa aking kamay.

"Alex..."

From his behind, his other hand holding a stem of rose emerged. He handed the flower to me and I was too stunned to say anything.

What is this? Am I getting a confession from him? From Alexander Lao?

"Please give me five minutes to say my speech," he said, expelling a deep breath before avoiding my gaze. His ears suddenly reddened as well as his cheeks. "Just five minutes, Clarisse. I... I can't stop myself anymore."

Kinuha ko ang tangkay ng rosas na iniaabot niya sa akin bago tumango. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng nangyayari. Last night, I was crying after seeing him making out with another woman and now... He was standing in front of me, with a rose and a request for my five minutes to spare to him.

"I... I really like you, Clarisse. Niloloko ko lang 'yung sarili ko na parang kapatid lang ang tingin ko sa 'yo. I was... I was trying to stop myself from falling to you." He met my gaze and smiled a little. "I know I am not the right guy for you so I did my best to control my feelings. I don't want to cross the line between our friendship because I might hurt you along the way."

"But... You said I am just a sister to you." Nanlalaki ang mga matang nakatingin ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko magawang paniwalaan ang mga sinabi niya sa akin.