Often confusing

Reason

Reasons many, reasons few.
Of all the reasons I gave you;
Of all that I never had,
A reason chief: a reason bad.
Seasons change and winter's gone,
Where were you when I was home.
Where were all the reason that,
I had never known?

For a reason I did take,
A task, much like oedipus's great.
Hoping at the end to have,
A reason, for all that I am.
And when I did end it all,
A reason's search, just for naught.
It never was, there never was,
A reason for the reason's farce.

I breathe still, without it all,
No reasons to push the walls.
No reason's lap to lay my head,
And tell myself it was worth it all.
I breathe still, a reasonless husk,
The world will turn until dusk,
And even then I will not see,
The reason I reasoned to be.