anxiety and texts

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Y/n POV
The airport was exhausting. My cozy one-bedroom, one-bath apartment calls my name. I finally got around to making it feel like mine. I painted the kitchen cabinets forest green and bought a small oak island for the middle of the kitchen. I painted small designs in cream, sage green, and terracotta all around the living room with a gray comfortable couch in the middle. My room is mostly painted white, but I designed a green accent wall at the head of my bed.

As I finally walk into my apartment, the green color makes me think of her eyes. Oh yeah! She told me to text her when I got home! Was she just being nice saying that, or did she actually want me to text her? There is no way Elizabeth Olsen would actually want to talk to me. I make my way to the couch to sit down and think. As I start to overthink everything about the conversation, I realize how tired I am since I can't sleep on planes. Before I realize it, I drift off to sleep and wake up a couple of hours later. Since it's been a couple of hours, I don't feel as desperate if I text Elizabeth now.

Just as I go to text her, a thought pops into my head and burrows there. She heard my pathetic sob story! Oh god, let the overthinking begin. She probably only talked to me because she's a nice person and just felt bad for me after hearing me cry. She doesn't actually want to talk to me, she just pities me. Why did I even start to get my hopes up? As my mind raced, I dig my nails into the palms of my hands. A bad habit I picked up after multiple anxiety attacks. The pain is sometimes the only thing that can pull me out of my head. Bad, I know. I get out of my head just enough to start to ground myself. Okay, I see my bed, my rug, the painting, my door, and my TV. I feel my heartbeat, my comforter, nails in my palm, and my hair on my shoulders. I hear my breathing, a dog barking outside, and a siren. Okay, I'm back. I catch my breath for a second and allow myself to think about the situation calmly. She may have heard my story, but that doesn't mean she pities me. Also, she may not even respond to my text so there is no reason to freak out. I do not have control over the situation so I can't let myself spiral over something I can't control. Plus, there isn't even a situation. I met the girl once for god's sake! Time to get out of my head and just text her.

With shaky hands, I pick up my phone and look in my contacts, curious as to what she put her name in as. I scroll to the E section and laugh to myself as I see the contact elizabeth fucking olsen 💚. She even put a green heart in the contact, god she's so cute.

y/n
hi, angel eyes (:

I feel my heart racing as I press send. A simple hello, nothing crazy. I put my phone down, not expecting an answer. I need to get ahold of these butterflies I feel when I think about her. She is engaged! To a man! Because she's straight! I start unpacking my clothes from the trip and go to the kitchen to start making dinner to get my mind off her. I hear my phone buzz a couple of times. Weird. I go to check my phone and am surprised by a couple of texts from her. She actually responded?

elizabeth fucking olsen 💚
y/n!
you never texted me when you got home safe!
ugh you worried me!

Woah. That was unexpected. She was worried about me? My heart is beating so fast, I can't stop smiling at the screen. Again, I need to chill.

y/n
I'm sorry!
I fell asleep as soon as I got back to my apartment!
I didn't mean to worry you :(

elizabeth fucking Olsen 💚
you're forgiven this time y/ln
so, you made it back safe?

y/n
well, I am texting you now, so yes
HAHA I'm sorry
that may have been too sarcastic for texting someone I just met, sorry
did you get home safe?

elizabeth fucking Olsen 💚
well, I am texting you
someone told me that means you got home safe
SO YES
lol (:

Reading her texts almost make my heart explode. Is this flirty banter? No, but we are teasing each other. But it's like we're friends already! I don't know how I could be just friends with someone that ethereal. Oh god, I just called her ethereal. What the fuck is wrong with me?? I laugh out loud at my own ridiculousness. I honestly don't care if I get heartbroken, I have a feeling it will be worth it to be friends with this perfect human.

y/n
damn, already using my words against me
I'm already learning so much about you
worried and sarcastic!

elizabeth fucking Olsen 💚
ha ha you are so funny
anyways, have you eaten?
or were you just lazy and fell asleep as soon as you got back

y/n
I was lazy and immediately fell asleep oops
so no, I have not eaten
like you said, I'm lazy so I'm just going to eat some chips for dinner lol
but thank you for asking! worried, sarcastic, but sweet!

I get nervous after sending that last text. She could interpret that text as sarcastic friend banter, or me genuinely calling her sweet and wanting her to know I'm thankful for her care. Although I mean the latter, I don't want to push any affection onto her.

elizabeth fucking Olsen 💚
y/n! that is no meal!
I care about you, so you better eat something better than that!
what are you actually craving to eat?

She cares about me?? My heart may explode, I can't take it. She is probably just joking though. Of course, I care about her. We just met but it feels like I know her. After calming down for a second, I finally respond.

y/n
currently, I am craving Italian
like always

elizabeth fucking Olsen 💚
how about tomorrow?

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