Living For Today

Chapter 18

Gillian POV

I woke up and turned to see Liam sleeping. He was beautiful but I wasn't sure how our relationship would go. I knew If I didn't get up Zayn would come and make me get up. I decided to look for my phone because truth was I hadn't done anything but watch tv.

I looked in the mirror for really the first time and was shocked at how thin I had gotten. I guess I hadn't eaten much of anything. I just didn't want to. I opted for Liam's phone when I couldn't find mine. I logged onto Twitter and held my breath for what I was about to see.

[ haven't seen liam or gillian in a while. Hopefully they're over]

[I hope she lost the baby. She doesn't deserve him either]

[Why don't you just go kill yourself]

I guessed that's what you got after not going on for over a month. I started to cry. I hated people. They had no idea. Liam came out looking very very tired. I felt bad. I knew that part of why he was so tired all the time was me. "Morning." He nodded and I turned to pretend to look in the fridge. "Can we go eat?" I hadn't eaten In like a month.

Liam POV

I knew we needed to talk and I figured over food would be good. We each got ready in different rooms as she asked to have her privacy. I hadn't noticed how much weight she had lost until she changed into my BRIT jumper. It looked much bigger than i had remembered on her. She noticed me looking and stood there awkwardly. "Sorry I can change into something--" I cut her off. "No its fine. Now why are you crying?" I asked as I grabbed my keys and phone. Then the thought came to me.

Twitter.

"Don't you dare listen to a thing any of those nasty people say about you!" I tried to convince her but I knew she'd always be hurt. She looked at the ground and followed me out the door. She walked at a slow pace but I matched it willingly. We reached the lift when Sofie came running in. She did a double take then hugged Gillian as tightly as she could.

"You're back! But I've got to run. Having breakfast with a friend." She smiled and walked out of the lift. Gillian stood there a bit shocked for a moment. "I didn't go anywhere...its not like I was dead. I wasnt the one who...died." she whispered quietly. "No.no. she meant back to normal." I tried to assure her as we got into the car.

We walked into the restaurant about a foot away from each other. I tried to hold her hand in the car but she pulled away. The silent drive was the opposite of when the waitress took our orders. Gillian couldn't stop asking for more food. We sat and ate in silence until we were almost done and I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm so sorry..." I rushed out. She looked at me like I was crazy. "Why are you sorry?" I pondered the question. Was it a trick? Like her making sure I was sorry about the right things? Or did she think I had nothing to do with it? She stared at me with no feeling and I realized I should just apologize for everything.

"It's not that I didn't want a baby." Her eyes started to fill with tears. "I just was so stressed. And you seemed stressed. And I felt bad for how horrible you felt and god, I was an idiot. I wouldve loved to have a baby but maybe we just weren't ready I don't know. And everyone was mad at me. And your parents called. I talked to them. They basically said they never want to see me again. So I don't know what that means for us. But I'm just so sorry."

I didn't get everything I wanted across but it was a start. She was full on crying by that point and I felt horrible. I was the reason. Without a word she stood up and left to the bathroom. I sat there and tried not to cry. She came back 20 minutes later with red eyes and she bit her top lip. That meant she had something to say. But I knew she wouldn't say it.

The drive home was silent apart from the silenced sobs of the beautiful girl next to me. I parked and turned to face her but she was already out the door and headed to the lift.

Moriah POV

"And they're colours will be pastels. Then we can all wear which colour we want right? Besides Niall and Sarah said they didn't care." I was on the phone with Lou picking out fabric to drape over chairs in the ballroom for the reception. "Okay. Sounds good gorgeous. I'm gonna go grab something to eat. Ill talk to you later yeah? I love you." "Love you too." I smiled as we both hung up.

I walked around a few more boutiques quite pleased with how the plans were coming along. I decided to stop at starbucks on the way home. I ordered Lou's drink and my own and waited for a minute. I heard a laugh I recognized as my best friend's and looked over to see her sitting at a booth at the opposite end of the large store. I couldn't tell who she was with. Maybe she was on a date?

My drink orders came and I noticed some paps around. I thought It odd because normally they wouldn't stick around for Just us. They would if one of the boys were with us. Who was Sofie with? I hid my face because I didn't want to cause anything and looked back as I walked out the door. The blood in my body boiled and red flags went up everywhere. Why on earth was she with THAT?

Sami POV

I went to go see what Jade was up to but as I walked out the door I was almost plowed over. I had to look at her twice to make sure I wasn't making it up. "Gill?" The tall and now very skinny girl with dark roots and faded blue hair turned to me. Her eyes looked tired and like she had just been crying. "What's wrong?" And I stood on my tip toes to give her a hug.

"I don't remember you being this short." She smirked at me. Again with the short jokes. I nudged her side. "Whatever. I have something to show you." I grabbed her by the hand and pushed her into my flat. I looked back to close the door and Liam looked at me with a very sad look on his face.I'd have to ask about It later.