Living For Today

Chapter 25

Niall POV

"What did you say to her? " I asked when she walked back into my flat. I was still really mad about Liam. Who did he think he was? I'm a grown up for God's sake. She looked pretty happy though and I knew she had wanted Gillian back for a long time. She sat down beside me on the couch and kissed my cheek.

"Well she's doing a lot better than I thought. I said I was sorry for us getting mad about them getting married. And that we really shouldn't have." Woah. We shouldn't have? Since when? I rolled my eyes at her.

"What?" She asked a little offended. "It wasn't our fault you know. We didn't really add to the stress. Liam did." She looked at me shocked. "Niall. We all helped with the stress. All of us. Liam didnt mean for this to happen and neither did we. I just couldn't loose another person in my life." She began to cry and I wasn't sure where she was going with this rant. "Because the last time someone died I blamed myself. Because its easier for me than blaming other people Niall." Her voice rose with every word, " It was my fault and part of this is my fault. And I can't do anything right." She was screaming at me by this point.

She was standing now. And to be honest I was a bit scared. But mostly sad. "I helped kill that baby! And another one won't have a father because I couldn't wait for something back in that bus! So don't you dare tell me none of this is our fault!" She stormed off crying and I sat there. Shocked. I didn't think she ever really thought about that anymore.

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About a year ago on tour the girls all came with us and they ran into Gillian and Moriah's ex boyfriends, who were both very bad people. Drugs and abuse were apart of their lives and they figured they could get some money from both girls. One day on tour after we began to ignore the threats Sarah needed something from the bus. Paul insisted he'd get it for her and was kidnapped.

Months went by and Paul was eventualy killed along with his kidnappers. Up until his funeral Sarah blamed herself for it everyday. She'd cry herself to sleep and wouldn't talk or smile. Paul's wife had a beautiful baby girl after the funeral and Sarah, though excited she was named after her, was still upset about Paul. Before he died he wrote her a note saying she shouldn't blame herself. And up until today I thought she didn't .

I walked into our room to see the girl I was going to marry huddled up on the bedspread. She looked so young. Fragile almost. I sat beside her and eventually melted into the empty spaces beside her. "I'm sorry princess. You were right. We did help. But don't you dare blame yourself. It isnt your fault. Don't worry. Shhh..." I tried to calm her sobs. "I love you and Gillian does too."

Gillian POV

Sarah apoligized for everything and I was really grateful she did. Then she started treating me like a normal person again and I liked that most. Everyone seemed to talked to me as though I was a toddler. Like they were afraid to hurt me or something. Zayn didn't. Neither did Sarah now.

Liam walked in and I got quiet again. I wasn't entirely sure why but he just looked at me with a blank expression on his face. Like he was hiding something. Sarah left after we talked for a bit and I decided to eat. I Made myself some food and went to see if Liam wanted any.

Liam POV

I walked to our room and heard Sarah say goodbye. I was hurt Gillian stopped smiling or talking or laughing whenever I was around. I hadn't heard her laugh in two months. I didn't know what to do. I sat there by the desk and cried. I heard walking in my direction so I tried to make myself look unfazed.

Gillian POV

I walked into our room and didn't say anything. He turned around to face me and just looked at me with a blank expression again. I guess he didn't want to talk. I set some food on the desk. And wished he would talk to me.

Liam POV

She looked at me with almost a helpless look but said nothing. I guess she didn't want to talk. I grabbed the food as she walked away from me. I wished she would just talk to me.

Sami POV

We had mostly just sat around and really just talked for the day. It was late when Gillian came in with red eyes and I looked hwr as if to say "what happened? " she shook her head and walked to the kitchen where Sofie was busy making some sort of desert.

Gillian and Sofie had never had the kind of friendship where a lot of talking was involved from both parties. one would talk and the other would listen. They simply just knew how each other felt most of the time. They shared a quiet conversation where Sofie spoke mostly. I continued watching the movie with Maz. The two girls came In after a bit with a plate of cookies.

"Slow down" Maz warned Gillian as she didn't really evet stop eating all of the cookies. She blushed and put it down with an apologetic look. ''Its okay." He said noticing her sad facial expression. She half smiled at him then pulled me up and into the kitchen.

"What's up?" I asked quietly. ''Well first I don't know but Liam doesn't seem to care that I'm making an effort. And second. Sofie and Maz have been giving each other looks so I figured he could ask for her number while we're in here." She winked at me. It was funny how well her and Liam knew how to read people.