Love How You Hate Me (Castel #1)

Chapter 60: Under The Influence Of An Excuse

SEBASTIAN

"Allison..." I lightly shook Allison with my foot, Trying to wake her up.

"Ano?" She asked drunkenly. I shook my head and looked around. The rest of the road was dark and empty so I guess I don't really have anything to worry about other than the world spinning around me.

"Al... Hey..." I tried waking her up but I didn't just fail, My body heavily insisted on sitting down on the sidewalk with her. I laid my head down on top of her's.

"We can't stay here..." I whispered.

"I know, Seb. Mas lalo akong malalagot kay Axe kapag nalaman niya ito." My head shot up. To be completely honest, I forgot he ever existed.

"Oh yeah... What happened to you and him anyway? Did you break up?" I said, Cigarette smoke coming out of my parted lips. I have this completely irrational feeling na he might be the reason she's crying. Pero sino ba naman ako para ipilit siya to tell the story?

"Well... Ayun... Hiniwalayan niya ako " Allison had a hard time completing the sentence since she was barely awake.

I breathed in smoke before asking her a question.

"Bakit daw?" I felt Allison shrug.

"Hindi niya sinabi sa akin. Siguro wala akong karapatang malaman." I chuckled and blew out the remaining smoke in my mouth.

"Allison, I think I have an idea-"

"I mean, Ano ba ang nagawa ko? Sana sinabi niya manlang sa akin. Hindi niga nga ako tinanong kung ayos lang ba sa akin. Wala ba akong karapatan-" She didn't let me finish.

"Al, I don't this this is about your right. Relationships aren't some political or societal issue you have to fight for. Minsan kailangan mo intindihin."

"Paano ko maiintindihan? Hindi nga niga sinabi sa akin kung bakit." My eyebrows met when I heard her voice starting to crack. She was crying.

"Are you sure you don't have any idea as to why he broke up with you? Cause I know a pretty good reason." I have a hunch it was about me, Narcissistic but can you blame me?

"You know I'm your friend. But what he does to you as a reaction to what happened, I wouldn't blame him," She didn't talk back. She just continued crying. I laid back and pushed my head against a wall.

"He was hurt, Al. It was our fault. You should've told him we were friends from the start."

"Sorry... Sorry, Seb. Nadamay ka pa sa gulo ng buhay ko," She said in between sobs.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit napakamalas ko! Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang ginawa ko at nagkakaganito ang buhay ko!" For the nth time this night, I gulped. Malas. Napaka-malas niya nga talaga. Cause she has a friend like me... A traitor.

I huffed the last few smokes on my cigarette and turned my head to her.

I saw Allison, Vulnerable. The stars are shining on her face, The perfect mix of soft and strong structures consisting of plump, red lips and a prominent, strong jawline. Her nose looked like a button. A cute little button, Barely having a bridge. The moon complimented her brown complexion, Matching her eyes.

"Allison..." I uttered her name.

"Sebastian, Ganito nalang ba talaga ang buhay? Paano kung hanggang dito nalang ako?" Our eyes met. Long and dark lashes curtained her almond irises. It's such a pity her eyes wouldn't stop blinking out tears.

"Al..." I whispered her name.

"Paano kung hindi na ako kausapin ni Axe ulit?" My eyes moved down to her heart shaped lips. Rich in color, What a shame it was turned upside down.

"Paano kung hindi ako makapagtapos ng Valedictorian? Paano kung hindi ako makapasok sa law school? Paano kung hindi ko makuha yung scholarship?" She continued to rant but my vision was still blurry from the alcohol. My heart broke with every sentence. It's like she knew what I did, What I'm doing. And she's punishing me with gut crushing guilt.

"Allison, Calm down..." I knew that wouldn't work but it didn't hurt to try. She sniffed.

"Pasensya ka na, Seb." Her head fell on my chest as she continued to cry. Her tears on my shirt reminded me never to get her drunk again.

"Allison... I'm sorry. This is my fault. I got you into this mess." As I was caressing her back, I had a glance of my smiling face on a campaign poster, plastered on a lamp post beside a building with Richard Cruz's face. 

It's a picture of me smiling in a shirt of my family's campaign color. Everything about it was a blur but I'm sure the caption read something cheesy or something about why my looks is the reason you should vote for my dad.

I looked down at Allison who was still crying her heart out on my chest. My hand moved up from her back to her hair, Still stroking it slowly up and down.

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to stop her from crying. I don't know if I should even stop her. Who knows, maybe she's had enough.

She lifted up her head and for some unknown reason when we locked eyes my heart skipped a beat.

No, Sebastian. No.

My eyes rode down from her eyes down to her nose. I swallowed my own saliva when my wandering eyes reached her lips.

They look soft. I couldn't tell if it was the bourbon or if Allison was actually smiling at me. Why would she smile at me like that? I don't even think she's done crying.

"Al, What are you doing?" I asked softly, Not taking my eyes of her lips. She gently shook her head. I clenched my jaw, Trying to stop the urge.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I breathed in before pulling her chin and giving into the temptation. I'd rather do this now. Under the influence of something I know doesn't affect my morals or principals, Under the influence of an excuse.

"Shit..." I breathed out in between the kiss, Knowing damn well Allison is kissing me back. 

This is either going to be the best or worst drunken decision I've ever made but fuck it. Who knows maybe I'll get lucky and not wake up when I close my eyes.