DAMAGED LOVE

The Good Wife

Mrs. Legaspi decided to stay in her hotel while kuya went home by himself. Wala kaming kibuan na dalawa habang biyahe kami pauwi. Walang gustong maunang magsalita. Gustong – gusto ko siyang tanungin kung kamusta na siya. Kung anong nangyari sa kanya nitong mga dumaang buwan pero nauunahan naman ako ng hiya.

"When did you learn that you are pregnant?" narinig kong tanong ni Mon sa akin.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Nakatingin pa rin siya sa kalsada habang nagda – drive at seryoso ang mukha.

"Ako ba?"

Tinapunan niya ako at bahagyang binilisan ang pagmamaneho. "May ibang tao ba dito?" inis na sagot niya.

"A week after our separation," maikling sagot ko.

"And you didn't bother to tell me?"

"Bakit pa? Baka hindi ka na naman maniwala. Hindi mo nga pinakinggan ang mga reasons ko." Is he starting a fight again? Bakit ba ang init ng ulo niya?

"Karapatan kong malaman ang kalagayan mo," sabi niya.

"After you filed for an annulment gusto mo pang malaman ang kalagayan ko? Ano ba, Mon? Ano ba ito? You want me to leave you then you want me to live with you again? Sa totoo lang naguguluhan na talaga ako. Gusto ko ng isipin na nababaliw ka na at hindi mo na alam ang tumatakbo diyan sa utak mo!" hindi ko na napigil ang sarili ko kaya nasabi ko na iyon.

Mabilis niyang iginilid ang sasakyan at inihinto iyon.

"Oo! Maybe I am crazy because I don't know what to do. I am crazy because ever since I met you, you are still the one I love. Whatever I do, it is still you. 'Tang ina, Darcy. You don't know what I did those past months that you are gone," halos padaing ang pagkakasabi niya noon.

Hindi ako nakasagot sa sinabi niya. He is crying this time. He rested his head on the driver seat and looked outside. Tears are pouring from his eyes.

"I don't want to look back what I did to you. But everyday I was hoping that you would love me too. I thought all my prayers were answered when you said that you love me but then –" hindi niya naituloy ang sasabihin niya at napahagulgol siya. Parang gusto ko ding umiyak. This is the first time that I saw him cried like this.

His mom is right. He is a mess right now. He is like a lost child that needs some caring. Hindi ko kailangang salubungin ang paghihimutok niya. I need to make him feel that I love him. I need to assure him that whatever happened, I am still here for him.

I reached for his hand and gently squeezed it.

"Mon, can we stop hurting each other?"

He looked at me and I wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I want to give our marriage another shot, Mon. Yes I lied to you but I didn't cheat on you. I don't want to talk about what happened in those months that we were separated. All I want right now is you. Just you," seryoso kong sabi sa kanya.

I saw guilt on his face when he heard me said that. And without a word, he embraced me and cried again.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry, Darcy. I am sorry," paulit – ulit niyang sabi iyon habang yakap niya ako ng mahigpit.

Hindi ko na napigil ang sarili ko at napaiyak na din ako. I missed him so much.

"Let's start all over again," sa kabila ng hikbi ay sabi ko.