Somewhere Along the Way...To the TVA

Where Could She Be At...

Bucky willed his eyes open. Finally giving into his body's endless persistence. He had been tossing and turning for the past two hours, trying and failing miserably at getting back to sleep.

"Alright. Alright." He huffed out in dismay, "as if I would know what sleep is." He let out a groan as he hauled himself out of bed, stretching out before he headed to the shower.

As the hot water washed over his muscular body, he stood completely still, lost in thought. A knock at the door brought him back from his trance.

"Yeah?" He called out.

"Breakfast is ready Buck." Steve called to him.

"Yeah. Yeah. Thanks Steve,I will be down in a minute." He called back before sighing, urning the shower off, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his naked torso.

Everyone had been on eggshells with him since Thor had brought that letter back to them that he had found attached to Hades mane.

She was gone.

Again.

Bucky knew she was going to take Loki's death badly, but to literally leave the cosmos?

Alone.

With people they had no idea if anyone could trust or not?

For a man that was dead...

Even he had to admit, he didn't see this one coming.

Thor and Tony had been relentlessly trying to find some kind of information about this TVA but to no avail. Even Frigga and Odin had been trying to find out any information they could. But everyone was coming up short.

Heimdall kept watch everyday for them, always on high alert. But wherever they where? Was beyond even his capabilities.

It seemed to be, you only found out about the TVA if they wanted you to.

And for now, they did not want to be found.

As Bucky entered the common room to get some food before going to training, everyone fell silent.

"Guys. I'm fine. Really." Bucky attempted reassuring them with a small smile.

Nat sighed, "It's been 4 months Buck and quite frankly you have been walking around here with a face like a slapped ass the whole time." She raised her eyebrow, "we just have to trust her intuition. She wouldn't have just left with these people if she felt threatened by them. And by the looks of things there's nothing we can do to get her back."

Sam pulled a face at Nat in disbelief. "Well you didn't hold back. Jheeze. Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?"

She reached up massaging her temples, after a night of broken sleep. Her head hurt, "I didn't mean to be rude. But guys it's getting out of hand now. We have no idea where the hell she could be at..." truth be told Nat just didn't want to accept the fact she might not be coming back either.

But even she knew that they were chasing after a ghost at this point.

"So he needs to put his big boy pants on and get over her already. Just because Loki died doesn't mean she was going to fall into his arms."

"The man admitted that he was in love with her Nat." Sam stated, quite frankly surprised at Nat's abruptness. "Then he goes to battle for her and her soulmate...and afterwards she disappears when she clearly wasn't in a reasonable state of mind due to grief. He's been there for her through a lot of shit, not just this. Give him a break he's just processing it all. You would be a bit pissed yourself but there's no need to be an ass about it." Sam muttered, shaking his head before he took another mouthful of cereal.

"You know what? Fuck you Sam." Bucky had heard enough, "I'm sick of you all talking about me like I'm not in this fucking room. I'm sick of the whispering, the pitiful looks. I don't need anyones pity! She left! That was her choice! There's nothing any of us can do. So can you all just back the fuck off!!" He grabbed his coffee and abruptly left to go to the roof. Leaving everyone in shock at his outburst.

He slumped down on the bench with force, closing his eyes and taking a long deep breath inhaling in through his nose. Trying his hardest to control himself.

He knew he would have to apologise to Sam later, but he was so sick of them talking about him like he wasn't even there. Between that and the sympathetic looks he constantly got from them when anyone brought up her name or the situation.

Taking a long drink from his cup, he let out a huff. "I'm not even mad at you Doll, I just wish I knew if you were ok."

He heard the doors for the roof opening and closing again. Then the steady footfall of whoever was coming over to him.

It was Steve.

He sat down, patting Bucky's shoulder briefly before giving him a small smile, then turning his head and looking out over the city.

After a while Bucky broke the silence. "Last night was a difficult one Steve. I just don't understand how she has literally disappeared without a trace." Bucky sighed. "Between that and another nightmare." He fiddled with his cup, looking at the coffee swirling around in it.

There was a pause.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Steve.

"No," said Bucky after a bit. "No, I don't think I do. Because it won't change the fact she might not come back."

"That's okay," Steve said calmly, he lifted his cup taking a drink from it and just sat beside his best friend.

"What are you doing?" asked Bucky.

"Nothing, really," said Steve. "We all haven't taken this very well. Hell I'm man enough to admit I've been struggling with it. Everyone is grieving the loss of someone who may or may not be..." he hesitated, looking down at his cup. "Well. Dead. Which is difficult. I know how much she meant to you Buck. You love her." He chanced glancing over at him, "even if it's just as friends. And I know what it's like to have to try and move on in life from someone you love. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on difficult days either." A small smile tugged on his lips as he thought of Peggy, "You know it's so much easier when you've got someone there for you. And I will always be there for you Buddy. I've said it before and I will say it again, I'm with you til the end of the line."

Bucky sat there, listening to Steve. Trying to work through his head and his grief. And as he figured things out he realised. His best friend had never been more right. Just knowing Steve was there and not judging him, made it seem a little bit easier to face the day ahead.

"Hey, Manchurian Candidate. Capsicle. You're up. Meet me in the conference room for briefing." Tony's voice sounded from the speakers next to the elevator doors.

Steve stole a look at Bucky, "Well. Time to suit up."