My Ex-Boyfriend Is My Professor (New Version)

CHAPTER 39

"I'm hurting... I can feel the pain... and it's too much for me."

We bloom with those who understand us most and feel our pain—those who put their hands on the hurt and make flowers grow through all the cracks.

"Sometimes, healing consists of sitting in coffee shops and writing the years from your mind. Sometimes, healing is laughing until you cry, kissing your friends' faces, and being moved and inspired by your life," he spoke. My brother was speaking to me right now, and I couldn't help but cry.

"Kuya..."

"And sometimes, healing is rest; it is hiding from the world, having everything inside you become still and quiet and eerily bare. Sometimes healing feels like nothing at all, like you are a silhouette of hope and hurt at the same time. Do not fight it. Whatever your healing looks like today, whatever it consists of, just allow it to be what it is. Just take care of yourself," he added.

Mabilis akong tumingala para mapigilan ang luha na nagbabadyang makawala sa mga mata ko.

When they said it takes time to heal, it's not just a day or two. Maybe it could take months or even years. As for me, my heart is in millions of pieces, and each one has its own wound to heal in different ways from the others. And it's taking much longer than I could ever imagine. But that's okay. I'm getting there. Just one more.

One piece at a time. Please.

Napatingin ako sa aking kapatid at wala sa sariling pinulot ang mga papel na nagkalat. Tinignan ko ito at binasa. Agad akong natigilan nang mabasa ko ang nakasulat doon bago ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

"What is this, Kuya?" Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin, tumagilid ang ulo at napalabi. Umiling siya sa akin bago nagpatuloy sa mga ginagawa niyang kanina.

"A piece of paper."

"B-Bakit? Bakit ganito ang nakasulat?" I said to him. He was busy doing something in his notebook, even ignoring my presence. "Land for sale? Really?"

"I need to sell this house, Lex," he said. Kung makapagsalita siya, para bang napakadali na yun para sa kaniya; kung makapagdesisyon, para bang wala na siyang alaala na pinagsamahan namin dito sa bahay.

"Why?"

"Don't worry, I already have someone to take care of you. She was my nanny when I was a kid; she's here in the Philippines, so when I asked her if she could take care of you while I was away, she agreed."

"Away? What?! Where are you going, huh? Seriously? You don't need to sell this house!" I immediately exclaimed.

"I need to sell this house, Lex!"

"Pero... hindi eh! Bakit? Bakit kailangan mong ipagbili ang bahay na ito?! Hindi ko maintindihan!"

"You don't need to—"

"No! Make me understand!" I shouted. "This house is owned by our father! Pinagawa niya ang bahay na ito! Dugo't pawis ang inilaan niya para mapagawa ang bahay na ito, kuya! Tapos ipagbibili mo lang?!"

Napahilamos siya sa kanyang mukha bago tumayo. "I think you're tired—"

"Don't give me that bullshit—"

"Fuck! If only they could give us a little more time, somehow I wouldn't have to sell this house! But they gave us nothing! We have no fight against them because we are still students! No work and no money yet!"

Napaatras ako dahil sa malakas niyang pagkakasigaw. Pumupula ang kanyang tenga at mukha; kita ko rin ang ugat sa kanyang leeg dahil sa pagkakasigaw niya.