The Summer Contract

CHAPTER 18: Letters between former lovers

RYDER

My mother hands me a letter when I get home, it's been 2days of avoiding the girl I think I'm in love with so I'm still in a mood as I drop my weekend bag at the door.

Lea confessed that she didn't really tell her anything but expects me to because she can help.

What she doesn't know is that Porter is weaker than me right now, anything could break her or cause her memory loss to relapse. It's been more than a month but she barely remembers anything important.

I open the letter with a pen cap and recognize the cursive writing immediately.

Dear Ryder

I know you're avoiding me but I'm not sure why, your sister won't talk or see me so I'm guessing you got to her and that's okay.

I'm writing this letter because I hope your parents open and read what I have to say, I might not know everything yet but I won't stop so you can make this easy and tell me who the little bruised boy is or watch me figure it out from afar.

You ignored me once, I don't remember it but I wrote it down in my diary. You didn't talk to me for a year and I survived so if you think your silence holds power, try losing your parents.

I don't want to hurt or blow up anyone's life but my parents tried to protect that boy, they knew his name and we were on the way to their house when the accident happened.

So if you think I'm letting it go think again.

Someone is hurting someone I love, you know who but I'll be the one to find out.

Porter.

I read and read the letter again and again, luckily my parents didn't read it but I know they'll look for it later so I do the only sane thing and burn it.

Billie-Ann is determined but this is not the time for her stubbornness so I remove a pen and paper from my drawer and begin writing

Instead of mailing it to her house, I slip it into her locker on Monday.

I am done giving her space, if she wants to pry on my shit then I'm opening the door to her hell.

BILLIE-ANN

My letter backfired, it didn't intimidate Ryder but made us pen pals somehow.

I open his letter behind the abandoned toilets during lunch, Dash is out sick so it's only me today.

Porter,

First of all I burned your letter and my parents didn't see it, second of all stay THE HELL AWAY from my baby sister. She's been through enough and doesn't need you digging old shit up.

You're right Porter, I am hiding something from you but what you don't know is an assembly was held before you returned to school. We were told your mental state was delicate and that we shouldn't trigger or try to make you remember horrible shit.

Your memory loss could relapse and you could go on a psychotic break, that's why everyone is sort of nice to you but in truth we're all just waiting for you to strap on your big girl panties and remember.

Remember that I was also your first kiss, that you were the first person I invited to my 15th birthday party and that I made my mother call your mom to make sure you would come.

Remember that I crushed the moment I was in your bed because your room is the only place I have ever felt safe, remember that I got detention for not paying attention in class because I was googling tattoo ideas for you.

You forget that you losing your memories means we lost a part of you too and I admit they are things I am keeping from you but its not for your sake but mine.

I'm not okay Porter, I'm in quicksand and I am trying to get out before I come to you.

But I'll give you something, you suspicions were right you are not a virgin and that I'm not only your first kiss but the guy you dream about at night.

You must have found the contract by now. RTS stands for Ryder Tobias Salvatore, follow the breadcrumbs Nancy Drew, the pieces are all there.

P.S We all live in glass houses Billie-Ann, so it wouldn't be wise to start throwing rocks now.

-Ry

I'm already crying as I finish reading the letter, so the wet wood and lilies was him. The piercing eyes of salt and memories of the death grip on my body was the pastor's kid.

I hate him for doing this to me.

I know he's just trying to throw me off the trail and worst part is its working, I can't think of anything else now because in my dreams, I was falling in love with the person I was sleeping with and it scared the shit out of me but he could also be lying.

He was in my room the night he blacked out, what if he saw the contract and read my memory journal it's not like I hide them.

I open the letter and re-read a sentence that stuck out.

"I'm not okay Porter, I'm in quicksand and I am trying to get out before I come to you." Come to me?

It could mean he's going to attack me and make the school hate me or does it mean he likes me?

Forgive me lord but this I can't do, I can't look for the bruising boy when I don't even know who I am or who I was. And in order to know where I am going I need to figure those things out.

I storm back to the school furious than I have ever been since I woke up from my coma.

I walk into the cafeteria and head straight to the cool kids table where Ryder is sitting on the table as he laughs with his friends.

Everyone goes silent when I reach them and stand in front of Ryder, "you bastard!" I connect my hand to his cheek making the entire place go silent.

"You will pay for this!" I say through my teeth as his face turns back to me. "Watch your back Ryder Salvatore, I am bringing down your glass house" I storm out.

I'm storming down the hall when I feel a hand pull on me.

"Wow, looks like the coma made you dramatic!" Ryder spits as I jerk my hand out of his hold.

"Why didn't you tell me? I confided and trusted you and you made me feel stupid!" I snap as he rubs his cheek, I hope it bruises.

"Because I wasn't ready for you to know everything Porter!" He doesn't even look bothered by the fact that I slapped him.

"Everything?" I scoff as he nods.

"Yes everything Porter," he runs his hand through his hair. "I didn't want you to know that my summer with you was my best and that fact that you didn't remember it killed me."

"What—"

"—the night I needed you the most Porter was the night your parents died and you went into a coma. The night I finally spoke up, I lost you!"

"That's not an excuse, I know nothing about my life. Nothing!" Tears pools my eyes, "and then you send this cruel letter full of hints."

"Please don't make me say it," he shakes his head. "Because if I say it and I don't get the answer I want, I'll break." He grabs my hands, "you'll break me Billie-Ann Porter."

"Ryder," I jerk out of his hold.

"I love you," his voice breaks as my lips part. "I am in love with you Billie-Ann Porter," his eyes shut as he repeats.

"I—"

"—miss Porter! My office now!" Headmaster Fisher shouts from across the hall. "Now!" She repeats making me walk away from Ryder.

What the hell just happened?

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