Can't Tell The Difference

• Ephemeral •

Fear.

We all got something to fear.

And I learned to fear everything.

Maybe it's because I used to.

I used to fear people, by assuming the worst about them.

Staying away, was a shield that I thought could protect me.

But it only got things worse, because I let it destruct me.

I used to fear the darkness.

Checking every night if there was a monster under my bed or secretly hiding through the dark void.

I used to beg my mother to sleep beside me, because I knew she was the only one who could protect me from anything.

Until I realized that she wasn't a superhero, and neither was I exposed to real danger.

One thing I was sure she couldn't protect me from was...

Myself.

I am my own monster, exposed to my own kind of danger.

By letting it take the best of me, I did fear everything, I did fear the whole world.

But that fear was yet to be shown..

Through someone else.

...

"I work for the Mafia." he stated.

I half spat on his tuxedo jacket, unaware of the mess I caused to it as he flinched in disgust, "Freaking Evelyn!!" he blurted, holding the edge of his jacket with a glare at me. "Don't you know how much this suit cost me?"

"I'm so, so, sorry!" I quickly grabbed a tissue and whipped the spit off, "You work for the what?!" I stared at him with eyes widened in shock, searching for answers.

Mafia?

He's a criminal?

Does that mean I'm under the same palace roof as hundred of other mafia criminals who might be secretly hiding guns and weapons with them?

You're so dead, Evelyn.

My heartbeat raced and my whole palms sweated with anxiety. I might have enjoyed reading Mafia tropes and wished to live their lives that were full of action and thrill.

But this time, it was different. I was so afraid of being there. I wanted to vanish right away before getting myself killed from him or anyone else.

This time, It was reality, and reality was never amusing for me.

Still staring at him, he wandered my eyes in confusion and then chuckled at me, "Got you."