Melting Zane

Astraea.

I take a long, deep breath and try to calm my racing heart as I look at the place I once called home. It looks the same, except I have a really, really bad feeling about going inside.

I finally take a step forward, not wanting to be out in the cold any longer, and push open the door.

It still looks the same. It has that warm, cozy feeling, but right now, I feel anything but comfortable.

The door to Mom's room opens, and I tuck my shaking hands into my pockets, keeping a straight face.

Ever since I left, it just feels like I'm falling further and further into a dark void that nobody can take me out of.

"Astraea?" I hear mom's voice. The same one I grew up hearing, but this time, it doesn't sound nearly as playful and energetic as I remember it being.

"Astraea, is that you?" She holds the wall as she walks towards me. I close my eyes, tears threatening to fall, and the weariness of the past few weeks comes crushing on my head.

"Mom.." I whisper, eyes still closed. I can't bear to look at her face. She'll look at me like I'm not her daughter, and heaven knows that hurts more than anything.

But I feel cold fingers on my face, and before I can even open my eyes, I'm pushed into her chest.

The cry finally leaves my lips as I hug my mama after what seems like ages. She doesn't let go, neither do I.

"God, I missed you so much..." She says into my hair. I nod, not being able to say anything.

"I thought you'd never come home. I was miserable. I'm so sorry" She sobs. I shake my head, burying myself into her neck.
"It's my fault. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry"

We stay like that for a long time before I finally pull away.
"I thought you wouldn't wanna see my face again" I lightly whisper when I look into her bloodshot eyes. She gives me a broken smile. I bit my lip.

"Of course, I'd wanna see your face, silly. You're my daughter" She runs a hand down the side of my face and sniffs.
"I thought you'd come back at night. You didn't" She breathes, "I-I thought you'd never forgive me for what I said to you"

I laugh, and look at the ceiling, at the very familiar splash of dried, pink paint. The memories come flooding into my mind.

It was my seventh birthday. Mom and dad were busy preparing my cake. Ria and I ran around the house, playing tag. There was soft music playing in the back on dad's old stereo.

I somehow managed to get my hands on the colour that was used to paint the garage and ran inside with it. I think it was Ria that tripped me, because the next thing I remember is that I was face-first on the floor, the paint splashing everywhere.

We were successful in removing the paint from almost everywhere, except the ceiling. It just wouldn't come out.

I feel myself slip into my childhood again when I look at mama.
"Mom?"
"Yes?" She smiles.

"Can you make me cookies?"

"I messed up" I croak. She doesn't say anything, but puts her hand on mine.
"I know I shouldn't have gotten so attached to them. But I couldn't help it. And now he doesn't want to see my face" I whisper lowly, looking at my hands.

Mama slides the bowl of cookies towards me.
"When you first told me about it, I was furious" She meets my eyes. I look down.

"All I could think about is 'how could she do this to me?'. I thought there was no way you could mean something to Zane Aleksander" She smiles. I look at her in confusion.
"How did you change your mind?"