Falling for you

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"So, are you and Jaden in love?" June asks and Millie shakes her head. They have together for the past 4 months and they seen to be happy together. Millie was with Grace and June out grocery shopping and we walking back to her apartment.

"What does that mean?" Grace asks and Millie smiles at them.

"He told me that he loves me and he told me that he'll wait for me to be ready to say it back," Millie says and the girls hoot for her as they reach their floor. Ethan's apartment door was open but Millie looked away because she has been distancing herself from Zoe and Ethan for the past few months.

"Millie?" Eden says coming out of Ethan's apartment and hugs Millie. Millie hugs Eden back because she had missed her.

"It's so good to see you Millie. You look beautiful. I love you hair," she says and Millie smiles. Her hair was still in rose gold ombre and was short. She looked over Eden's shoulder and found Ethan coming out of his apartment with Zoe who was glaring at her.

"Come on, come on in," Eden says taking Millie inside. She had already met Grace and June the last time she had face timed Ethan and she greeted them too.

"Zoe? Can you get us some coffee?" Eden says and Zoe stands up and goes to the kitchen where Ethan follows her too, leaving Eden alone with Millie, Grace and June.

"Why is he engaged to that rat?" Eden asks and Millie was caught off guard.

"I hate her. She seems so- what do you say? She doesn't seem right for Ethan. I always thought you and Ethan would end up together Millie. It's a shame that he is getting married to that girl," she says and Millie holds her hand.

"It's alright Eden and by the way Ethan wanted to tell you something. That is the reason her brought you here," Millie says as Ethan comes out and looks nervous.

"What is it Ethan?" Eden asks and Ethan sits down.

"Mom, Zoe and I are getting married tomorrow," he says and Eden was shocked.

"Tomorrow? How is that possible? I just got to know you are engaged. What about her parents?" she asks furiously.

"Mom, her parents are fine with it but since they are busy, they cannot come over but they have given us their blessing and we want to get married as soon as possible so we are," he says and they argue for a while as Millie sits there awkwardly.

"It's your life after all. Do whatever you want," Eden says giving up and Ethan hugs her. Millie walks out of his apartment as the boys come back. She walked into her own and sat down on the floor in disbelief.

Ethan was getting married tomorrow. She didn't like it but it was just the truth but she had to write down a letter to Ethan but keep it to herself instead of giving it to him in order to let go of her feelings so she sat at the kitchen counter and started writing.

"Dear Ethan,

Where do I start? I fell for you. I fell for you hard, so hard that I can't get myself up anymore because it hurts to move. You are the most perfect man I have ever met in my life. You are the only man in my life who treated me with respect, gave me pure love, showed me real affection and showed me how a perfect gentleman was and I fell for it.

I was scared the first time I kissed you because the feelings I had for you were too strong, so strong that I thought I had gone mad. I never felt the way I felt for you for anyone else because I have never been in a real relationship and the thought of it scared me and I ran away from you and used Zach as a distraction.

I did move away from you but I couldn't do it anymore and I came back to you but you broke the news to me that you were going to Greece. I was sad but I was proud of you and trust me when I say that there wasn't day in the 4 months you were away from me that I didn't think about you.

I did almost tell you about the way I feel about you before you left but I got nervous so I waited till you came back and when I almost told you, your now Greek fiancé walked in, looking extremely beautiful. My heart broke into a million pieces because I couldn't hate you or anyone else but myself because I pushed you away when you needed me but I came back to you when I needed you.

It killed me every time you replaced me in your life with her. I was happy that you found someone like Zoe, a smart and wonderful woman who deserved you but now I am saying this to you right now. She doesn't deserve you and these words are not out of hate or jealously but just my love for you.

She changed you completely. She made you wear contacts and I know how much you hate having something in your eyes but you are going to spend the rest of your life with her, doesn't she know that? You didn't like your hair long but now it is and your body, you always told me how much you hated working out and never planned on doing it. But now, look at you. You are doing everything you told me you hated.

But Zoe isn't all nice at all. She has insulted me, many times before and yet I remained silent because you love her but she was the one who purposely pushed me into Jaden's pool on Christmas Eve and acted like nothing happened. She later confided in me saying she knows that I love you and called me worthless and many other words I do not want to say and asked me to stay away from you. She is toxic, Ethan and she doesn't deserve you.

Idiot! No, I'm not talking about you or her. I'm talking about myself. I'm talking about the Millie who cried and got her heart shattered, but still chooses to hold on. I'm talking about the Millie who smiles whenever she sees your name, and then immediately feels sad because of the past. I'm talking about the Millie who has the courage to approach you, but deep inside, fears that she'd get hurt again. I'm talking about the Millie who continuously waits for the day that you would tell her you feel the same way. Most of all, I'm talking about the Millie who lost her self while chasing after you. She lost myself. I lost myself. I found myself. And now, I feel like I'm about to lose myself again. I'm about to lose my heart and everything I've tried so hard to keep intact.

You are getting married tomorrow and I can't accept that you will be spending all your life with her. But, it's okay. Because I still think that this unrequited love is beautiful and precious in a bittersweet way. After all, in this short life, how many people will we come to meet and love unconditionally?

You don't know it but I am going to miss you so much. I miss your presence in my daily life. I miss hearing your approaching footsteps. I miss making you cookies. I miss standing close to you every chance I have. I miss hearing you bidding me goodbye. I miss walking beside you. I miss coming up the elevator to our floor. I miss being close to you. I miss seeing you smile. I miss hearing your voice. I miss you calling my name. I miss your scent. I miss your embrace.

I don't know if it's the challenge. But no matter how hard I try, I can't forget about you. I can't forget about the day we first talked. I can't forget about the day I first moved to Los Angeles and met you and the boys. The day you made me smile until the only feeling I recognize is happiness. The day you made me feel loved. The day you gave me a guitar and a laptop and finally this letter I am writing for you.

But whatever happens Ethan, just know that I love you. You are my first love and that unfortunately turned out to be an unrequited one but I am glad to have met you. You and I are meant to be, or I thought so. I hope you get a happy ending with Zoe.

Love, Millie," she finished writing and she kept it in one of the books in her apartment.

Millie locked the door of her apartment but not before looking into Ethan's where she saw Eden, Zoe and Ethan enjoying a glass of wine, looking extremely happy and Millie realized that she could never fit in that family.

She would never be one of them because she was so different than them. She could never possibly be a better daughter-in-law to Eden than Zoe because Zoe was smart and financially stable.

She locked her door and looked at the dress she was supposed to wear for Ethan's wedding tomorrow hanging in her clothing rack and her heart felt heavy. She did nothing but lay on her bed the whole night, staring at the darkness that consumed her.