It hurts [Ziall]

3

Niall

I groaned and dragged myself out of bed as my mom pounded on my door for me to go to school. I winced as my cuts brushed up against the sheets. How the hell do people deal with this? Plus I was sore from dance yesterday.

I grabbed the million pieces of my school uniform and threw it on. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, washed my face. I went to do my hair, then remembered that if I was acting depressed, I shouldn't do my hair. Even though Zayn wouldn't see me at school, I want to make this believable.

I limped downstairs (being sore sucks) and hugged my mom goodbye, then ran out the door before she could say anything about me not eating breakfast.

I drove myself to school, but as soon as I walked in, I was confronted by Chance and his asshole friends.

"Why are you limping faggot?" He yelled. "Boyfriend butt fuck you too hard last night?"

"He's to ugly to have a boyfriend." One of his friends laughed. I rolled my eyes. Normally I would throw some witty remark back at them, but I was in character. I had to act like it bothered me.

I put my head down and walked to my first hour. I sat in the back of the room and put in my headphones. What kind of music do depressed people listen too?

I went on tumblr and looked at some bands and songs, then downloaded a couple of them and hit shuffle.

Huh. I kinda like this. It wasn't too bad. I drummed my fingers along until the bell rang. I zoned out about five minutes into class and thought about how good Zayn looked without a shirt on.

Later at lunch, I spotted my only friends aka the only people who aren't homophobes in the entire school, Louis, Liam, and Harry at a table. I started to smile and run over, then I remembered I was depressed. I put on a neutral expression and walked over there.

"Hey Ni!" Louis said cheerily. He was always full of excitement. I gave him a small smile.

"What's the matter Niall?" Liam asked. "You didn't even style your hair!" He said ruffling my dyed blonde locks.

"Um... Nothing. I'm just tired." I put on a fake, fake smile. I think I'm a pretty good actor.

"Oh ok..." He said. The three of them continued on with their conversation. Normally I would jump in and be excited and bubbly about the fact that it's Friday, or what they were serving in the cafeteria, but today I just stayed quiet and snacked on a bag of strawberries I had brought.

My phone beeped and I pulled it out, reading the text.

Hey wanna go to the studio today and independent study our duo?😛
-Z

I squealed loudly and the boys turned to me confused.

"Zayn texted me!" I said happily, quickly texting back. They laughed, knowing about my huge crush on him. I grinned and eagerly awaited his response.

Cool! Meet me there at 4😽
-Z

I smiled. I realized that I could use this as a time to get him worried about me. Should I show him my cuts? No it's too early for that. I had to make him worried about me first. Then I got an idea.

The rest of the school day flew by and all day I thought about seeing Zayn later.

I arrived at the studio at 3:30 and quickly changed into dance clothes. I did a ton of warm ups to make myself look like I had been dancing for a while, then went into the bathroom and rubbed my eyes a ton, put some blusher from one of the girls' lockers around my eyes, and fanned my eyes to make myself cry.

It was 4 now, so he could be here any minute. I quickly put on the song breathe me by Sia and started to improv.

Improv. Us dancers know that whenever we're feeling sad, just put on a sad song and immediately the music will wash over you and practically take over your body. Then you just lose yourself in dance.

Sometimes dancers hurt because of dance,
But sometimes we dance because it hurts.

The really intense part of the song came on and I started to thrash around. I heard the door open, but I pretended I didn't notice. the song ended and I let myself fall to the ground. I laid there and breathed heavily. I pretended to start crying. I felt a gentle hand on my back.

"Niall?" Zayn asked soothingly. "Are you ok?"

I sat up, pretending to be startled and wiped my eyes.

"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine!" I said. He looked at me concerned.

"There was a lot of emotion in that improv." He said, holing out his hand to help me up.

"Yeah... I just..." I looked at the ground and pretended to tear up.

"Oh babe." He held out his arms and pulled me into a hug. I smiled into his shoulder. This is working so well. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He whispered. I shook my head, letting a few more tears fall.

"Ok... I won't pressure you." He said quietly. "But I'm here if you ever need anything. Ok?"

I nodded and gave him a fake, fake smile.

"C'mon." He said, plugging in his phone. "Let's practice that lift."