It hurts [Ziall]

15

Zayn

I finished up my real 'one more episode' on Netflix and let out a loud yawn. I glanced at the clock.

12:57

"Jesus." I muttered to myself. I should probably go to bed now. Just as I went to lay down, my phone started ringing. I groaned out loud, not getting up to answer. It rang twice more and I thought about just letting it ring out, but decided against it. I got up and checked the caller ID, immediately answering the phone once I saw who it was.

"Babe I'm so sorry about earlier!" I said as soon as I picked up.

"Forget it." Niall said quietly. "I just wanted to let you know I love you. And I'll always love you."

I smiled a bit. The sound of Niall saying I love you is the best feeling. "I love you too baby." I whispered.

"There's nothing to love here." He muttered.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Hearing him say this stuff about himself honestly breaks my heart. He's the most beautiful boy, with an amazing personality, yet he thinks so low of himself.

"There's so much to love baby." I whispered. "You're beautiful, funny, smart, and so so lovable Niall."

"I want you to stop loving me." He said, his voice sounding incredibly pained and broken. What is he talking about?

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"You're just going to get hurt." He whispered. The pain in his voice was so obvious.

"Niall what's going on? What happened, did you hurt yourself?"

"Goodbye Zayn." He whispered.

Oh my god.

"Niall!" I screamed, grabbing my keys and running down the stairs. I had flashbacks to the night he wanted to kill himself. But tonight, he actually wanted to go through with it.

"Niall don't do this!" I yelled as I got into my car and pulled out of my driveway, probably breaking every law about driving that there is.  

"I love you Zayn."

And then he hung up.

"Niall! NIALL! Fuck." I hit the gas pedal as hard as I could and dialed 911, telling them Niall's address. I sped all the way to Niall's house, tears running down my face. I didn't bother parking when I got there, just jumped out of the car and ran inside as fast as I could.

"NIALL!" I screamed when I got inside. I ran upstairs to his bathroom, where I found him covered in blood last time.

When I walked in it felt like everything was going in slow motion. I spotted Niall on the floor, eyes closed and bleeding from his wrists, an empty pill bottle laying on the floor next to him.

I walked towards him, falling to my knees, picking up his lifeless body and cradling him in my arms, not even checking to see if he was breathing. I just cried. I felt myself scream, "WHY" but I couldn't hear any sound over the loud ringing in my ears. I buried my fingers in his hair and held his body close to mine, screaming and sobbing into his shoulder until the paramedics showed up and practically had to pry him from my arms because I was screaming bloody murder for them not to take him from me.

One of the paramedics helped me up and gave me a shock blanket to put around my shoulders. He led me into the ambulance and let me sit beside Niall and hold his hand as they drove him to the hospital.

"It's gonna be ok baby." I whispered to him, running my fingers through his hair, trying to avoid the oxygen mask that was basically keeping him alive. "You're gonna be ok. I love you."

I played with his hair, whispered to him, and cried my eyes out until we arrived at the hospital. They brought him inside and told me I had to wait in the waiting room, which had me screaming bloody murder once again, until security came and took me to the lobby.

"We know you really love your boyfriend, but you not being in there is for his good. We promise." One of the guards said calmly. "If you really love him, you have to stay out here."

I nodded, taking a seat and putting my head in my hands. I felt my body shaking with sobs, but no tears would come out. I felt like my world was collapsing. He couldn't die. He just couldn't.

They finally let me into his room after the most stressful hour of my life.

"Mr. Malik please be careful." The doctor said. "He's just barely stable."

"Is he..." I felt myself choke on my tears. "Is he gonna make it?"

The doctor gave me an apologetic look and I immediately broke down. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip. Hard. I felt like I was being crushed from every direction.

"We don't think he'll make it. I'm so sorry." The doctor said. "But we're going to keep him hooked up to the machines and there's a small chance he'll wake up, though there will be a lot of recovery involved."

I nodded, a few tears sliding down my cheeks as I walked past the doctor and into Niall's room. I sat down in the chair beside the bed and took his hand in mine.

"I love you." I whispered. "And whatever you were talking about earlier, whatever it was that I should stop loving you for, it's not gonna work. I'm never going to stop loving you. And if you don't make it, first I'll personally murder everyone who ever hurt you because God dammit Niall you don't deserve it. Then I'll probably kill myself because living in a world without Niall James Horan sounds like hell to me."

I buried my face in his chest and cried. I've never cried so much in one day, but the thought of losing Niall, it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.

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I cried writing this too :'(

So first of all, I just wanna thank people for all the positive feedback on this story! Ily all and keep it up babes <3 check out some of my other stories too ;)

^re-reading this it sounds like this is the end of the book ITS NOT BTW WE'VE GOT A LOT TO GO DO NOT WORRY

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