It hurts [Ziall]

19

Niall

I walked out of my school and got into Zayn's car, a load of books in my arms.

"Did you miss much?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"I think I'll be able to catch up quickly, then go back to school after spring break."

It's been three days since I was released from the hospital. I didn't go back to school yet, Zayn and I just went to pick up my homework, because today was the last day of school before spring break.

"Are you excited for break?" He asked. I shrugged and glanced down. Perrie was going on vacation with her family and Harry, Liam, and Louis were all going on a road trip together. They'd invited me, but my mom wouldn't let me go anywhere over break because she's, "worried about me."

And of course, Zayn and his sisters are going to spend spring break with their grandparents.

"It's not like I'm gonna have anything to do." I muttered.

"I swear if I could get out of going to my grandparents house, I would babe." He said, taking my hand. "Are you sure you'll be ok?"

I nodded. No parents, no friends, no Zayn, I'll just have two weeks of Niall time. What could go wrong?

We pulled up to a building that I didn't recognize.

"Where are we?" I asked Zayn.

"It's your first day of support group." He said. "Remember?"

Oh right.

"I don't want to!" I groaned loudly.

"Come on Niall! Just get out of the car!" Zayn pleaded.

"I don't want to go to support group!" I groaned.

"Niall." I glanced over at him and we had a short staring contest. Which I won.

"Goddammit Niall." He muttered. "You promised." He twisted the promise ring around on his finger. I groaned again and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Fine." I snapped. He gave me a small smile, then leaned over and pecked my lips.

"Thank you." He whispered.

I got out of the car and walked into the small building. There were a couple of kids sitting in a circle of chairs, all around my age. I sat down between a boy wearing a tank top with some band logo I didn't recognize, black skinny jeans, and a few tattoos on his arms, and a girl wearing a oversized black sweatshirt and had thrown her hair into a messy bun. Both who looked about as irritated as I felt.

"Hi everyone." An older man said as he entered the room, and sat down in an empty chair two seats away from me. "I'm Doctor Stern."

He looked around at all of us. None of us looked very pleasant. We all looked either depressed (which is why we were all there so that made sense), angry, or extremely annoyed.

"So everyone go around the circle and say your name and a couple things about yourself." Doctor Stern said, a huge smile on his face. Kind of ironic, considering his name and the fact that he's a therapist for people who tried to commit suicide.

The girl next to me stood up.

"Hi. I'm Jackie. And I have a dog." She sat down, an annoyed expression on her face.

"That's it?" He asked. She nodded.

"Look I know none of you want to be here, but just put a little effort into this." He said, smiling still. "You have to get to know each other to talk about the deep stuff."

He motioned for me to go next. I rolled my eyes, then stood up.

"I'm Niall Horan..." I tried to think about an interesting fact about myself. "I'm a dancer."

"Really? What kind?" Doctor Stern said, way too excited.

"Umm... I do everything but I really like lyrical." I said, sitting back down. I didn't like everyone's attention on me for that long. When I was onstage, it's different. You can't see the faces in the audience, watching your every move and judging you for it.

The boy next to me stood up.

"The name's Connor and... I'm gay." He sat down again. I glanced over at him.

'Me too' I mouthed.

'I figured' he mouthed back. I rolled my eyes and looked back at the random kid who was going. We finished up the circle of about 10 kids, then the doctor started talking again.

"Alright everyone. You all know why you're here." He said. "You all attempted the same thing. I want to go around the circle and say what you were feeling at that time. If you don't want to, that's fine."

Jackie, me, and Connor all passed and so did the boy after us. Another girl started talking about how she was depressed or whatever. I didn't feel like listening to other people talk about their feelings.

'This is bullshit.' Connor mouthed to me.

I nodded, laughing quietly.

He held a fake gun to his head and pretended to shoot himself. I started to laugh, but then stopped. With these kids, you have no idea who's going to go home and shoot themselves in the head for real. Maybe Connor would later, I don't know. I don't know anything about him or his suicide attempt.

"I'm willing to joke around with you and make this shit more bearable." He said quietly. "But don't get sensitive about suicide jokes just because you're worried I'm gonna try again."

How did he read my mind?

"Besides," he whispered, sitting back in his seat. "You tried it too."

I rolled my eyes at him again. He is funny. Joking around with him could make support group a lot more bearable.

Dr. Stern got up and turned on a fan, because it was getting rather hot in the room.

"It's not even blowing us!" Someone groaned.

I heard Connor choking with laughter behind me. I turned around and his face was read, obviously from trying to hold back laughter.

I shook my head at his immaturity and tried to hold back my laughs as well.

Maybe support group wouldn't be so bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi everyone!

Kind of a shitty chapter sorry :(

Not much to say here lol

I'm thinking of making a new cover for this :)

That's about it hahahah

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