It hurts [Ziall]

6

Niall

I couldn't stop smiling the entire way home. I knew Zayn was probably thinking about me right now, worrying about me. He'd probably ask how I'm doing tomorrow and make sure I didn't make any new cuts.

I arrived home and went up to my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned a bit. My t-shirt was rather tight to my stomach, showing off my not so perfect figure.

I had never been really insecure about my body, but I noticed that I do need to lose a little weight. My thighs and butt were huge, and my bloated stomach stuck out much more than my chest. I needed to drop a couple more pounds.

I pinched at the fat that clung to my hipbones. God, how did I never notice this? Compared to most guy dancers (including Zayn) I look like a damn potato. Chance had always been telling me the truth, about being fat and ugly. Why would he lie to me?

A few tears rolled down my cheeks as I stripped off my pants and got in the shower. I grabbed my blade off the shelf and made a few cuts in my wrists as I cried.

For Zayn. He's never going to like me if I don't do this.

and I knew I was right. I was fat and ugly and he wouldn't give me a second glance if it wasn't for the harsh red marks on my wrists. I winced at the pain, but it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it did the last two times I cut. I'm probably just getting used to it.

I thought about how earlier he had hugged me, calmed me down, and told me it was going to be okay. That he would help me get better. I don't even know where a lot of the stuff I had said had come from. The words to my sob story just came flowing out of my mouth like a tidal wave.

Technically, none of it was a lie. I do get bullied, everything with Chance really happened, my parents compare me to Greg all the time, and I am fat and ugly, so I don't think I'm doing anything wrong here. I'm just exaggerating how upset I am about it.

I got out of the shower, put on some pajama pants, and climbed into bed.

>>>>>>>

I woke up to light shining through my window. Why is it light out? I glanced over at my clock.

9:42

I'm late for school. Awesome. I pulled my blanket up and shut my eyes. I'm already late, why not just skip today. I checked my phone and noticed I had a couple texts from Zayn. I smiled.

Hey Niall I hope you're doing alright today😚😔 I'm always here for you if you need anything.
-Z

I don't want to be weird, but normally you text back right away. Are you alright? Is something wrong at school?
-Z

Niall please answer I'm getting really worried.
-Z

He's so worried, this plan is working so well. His last text was only 10 minutes ago. I should probably text him back.

Sorry Zayn, I was asleep. I didn't want to go to school today.
-N

Why not worry him a little while I'm at it. My phone beeped and I opened Zayn's text.

Are you ok? Why didn't you want to go to school?
-Z

I just didn't want to see Chance. I'm fine.
-N

I know you're not fine babe. I'm coming over.
-Z

He's coming over now?

You don't have to do that
-N

Too bad. I care about you and I know you're upset, so I'm coming to make you feel better.
-Z

I jumped out of bed to make myself look decent, but not too decent. I still had to look depressed and tired. I threw a shirt on to cover up my fat torso and ruffled my hair a little.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later. I ran downstairs and opened it. There stood Zayn, in all his perfectness. I gave him a small smile.

"You didn't have to skip school to come and make me feel better." I mumbled. "It's not like I'm worth it."

Zayn's mouth opened a bit, then he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and guided me to the couch behind us.

"Don't ever let anyone tell you you're not worth it Niall." He said. "You're worth more than the world."

He took my hand in his, then rolled up the sleeve of my shirt and frowned. "These are new, aren't they?" He asked quietly. I nodded, embarrassed. "Call me next time Niall." He lightly kissed my wrist. "I want to help."

I smiled and blushed. "Thank you." I whispered.

"No problem babe." He said, ruffling my hair a bit. "Now, I brought popcorn and all 8 Harry Potter movies. Do you want to get started?"

I smiled as he got up and put the DVD in. How did he know that I love Harry Potter?

He pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled and rested my head on his chest as the movie began. This is what every day would be like if I can can continue to pull this off.

But I could also be kissing him.