It hurts [Ziall]

7

Niall

The next day, I thought my stomach was going to collapse into itself, since I hadn't eaten anything since Sunday except the popcorn Zayn brought me yesterday. So I ate a small cup of pineapple for breakfast, and a salad at lunch.

I was walking out of the school building at the end of the day when I heard the first insult.

"Hey faggot!" Chance yelled. I put my head down. I didn't want to let his words hurt me, but they were starting to.

He walked up to me and shoved me back into the lockers. His friends laughed. "Where were you yesterday?" He asked. "Scared?"

I put my head down as tears filled my eyes. Chance started to laugh. "He's crying!" He yelled, shoving me down. A tear rolled down my cheek when my body hit the ground.

Normally I could hold back the tears, but they just wouldn't stay back. I heard Chance and his friends laughing at me and mocking me for crying. I felt a hard kick in the stomach.

"Wow, fatty." Chance laughed. The bell rang loudly and Chance's friends ran off to class.

Chance kicked me one more time. "You're a worthless piece of shit." He said, then ran off.

I crawled into the bathroom and sat against the wall, sobbing. Since when did Chance's words hurt so much.

I felt the food I had eaten earlier sitting like a cold lump in my stomach. What the hell was I thinking eating that? It's just going to make me fatter. If I keep this up, Zayn will never love me and Chance will never stop hurting me.

I crawled over to the toilet stall and pushed two fingers down my throat. I gagged, and threw up the fruit from earlier. I let out a quiet sob as I finished throwing up.

It's worth it.

I shakily stood up and walked over to the sinks and glanced at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, my wrist began to itch for the feeling of my razor. I grabbed it and dug my nails into my skin to make the feeling stop, but as my nails opened up a cut, I sighed as the emotional pain Chance had caused me washed away.

No. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I was supposed to be pretending to like this.

I stopped scratching at the cuts and pulled out my phone and dialed his number. It rang once... Twice...

"Niall?" Zayn's voice asked worriedly.

"Z-Zayn?" I choked out. This is just pretend. I told myself. You're just trying to worry him. It's not real.

"What's wrong babe?" He said soothingly.

"I-" I gulped. "I want to cut so bad. I need it."

"No babe listen to my voice alright?"

I steadied my breath and listened to him. He can make this awful feeling go away.

"You're stronger than that." He said. "You can resist it. Just calm down alright?"

I grabbed my wrist and dug my nails hard into my skin.

Why the hell won't it stop?