36 - lonely

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dear malia,

josh was still unconscious. and i was staring out the window at the stars, thinking about things. thinking about everything.
mum had gone home to get some rest and she told me to sleep as well. but i didn't feel like it.
i missed josh. i missed his hugs and his smile. i missed having him there to tell me advice.
i missed parker. his smile, his laugh, his friendliness.
i missed kayla. i missed her blonde hair and her cute dimples that i was always jealous of. i missed her laugh too. and her smile.
i missed lilly too. and my mum.
and i missed you. i missed your smile and laugh and hair and eyes and voice.
i stared at the stars and sighed. i was so lonely.
i just wanted to be okay. i wanted everything to just go back to normal. i missed being happy.
i like to be alone. i like the calmness of it, and it gives me time to think. but i most definitely do not fancy being lonely.

truly,
hannah

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