Dear Malia (Completed)

22 - "nobody likes a fag"

dear malia,

the next morning, josh woke me up and told me that i have to get ready for school, which i forgot about.
i asked him if i could stay home. he said no. so i went.

it was okay. i mean, it was school. i've never enjoyed it to a point where i'm excited to come back. i only get excited when i get to see you again.
i saw you in science, but instead of sitting beside me, you sat beside your friend lola.
i heard you guys whispering all throughout the class, but the teacher didn't stop you. i heard you two giggling and when i turned around, you laughed even more.

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at lunchtime, i found parker and kayla outside. they were standing by the oak tree that was in the front of the school, and they looked like they were arguing.
parker was mad at kayla for something. i overhead him say something about a secret that wasn't hers. 
i didn't know what they were talking about, but they looked like they needed space so i walked back inside the school and took a seat at an empty cafeteria table.
i glanced around the room, and when i saw you, you raised an eyebrow and whispered something in your friend's ear. i think her name is cassie. she raised an eyebrow and looked at me.
"checking malia out, are you?" she called, practically getting everyone's attention.
the whole room went silent and everyone's eyes were on me and your table. i thought things like this only happened in movies. 
i stumbled to find my words, i didn't know what to say. "no," was all i could muster out. 
"don't lie. we all know you're a lesbian, sweetie," cassie said, as if it was the easiest thing to just blurt out. "don't be afraid to admit that you wanna fuck malia woods."
a couple kids started laughing, half-shocked and half finding it funny. what was so funny about this?
i wanted to cry and cassie seemed to notice because she said, "aw, look! poor lesbo wants to cry." she fake pouted and turned to her friends to laugh again.
that did it. that made me cry. and while i was crying, everyone was laughing. everyone but you. you just stared at me. i couldn't tell exactly what emotion you had on your face but it looked like pity. why didn't you say anything?

"i have to go," i mumbled packing up my things and running as fast as i could out of the cafeteria, bumping into some people along the way.
"keep running," said a boy when i passed him. "nobody likes a fag."

nobody likes a fag. nobody likes a fag.   

i could barely see through my tears and crashed into another body, falling onto the ground.
i began apologizing and swearing and picking up my things, wiping my eyes in the process. 

"hannah, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked. 
i looked up to see parker. "peachy, thanks for asking," i lied. but i couldn't lie to parker and before i knew it i was crying again.
he spread his arms out and i dropped my book, creating a loud noise when it hit the ground, and didn't hesitate to hug parker.
"they all were laughing," i mumbled into his chest.
parker stroked my head, tightened his grip around me, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head then my temple. "don't believe them, hannah," he told me.
we hugged for awhile, just standing in the middle of the hallways, and i didn't care.
when parker pulled me down with him onto the floor and we leaned up against the lockers, side-hugging, i still didn't care. i didn't care that my books were still scattered all over the floor, i didn't care that anyone could walk by and make fun of me again.

i just wished that i could be here, in the middle of the hallways, leaning against the locker, my books everywhere, with you.

truly,
hannah

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