Dear Malia (Completed)

40 - hi

dear malia,

i hadn't seen you in what seemed like ages but in reality it was only yesterday. we didn't talk much at school. it made me a little sad, but i understand, i guess. you don't want to hang out with the loser girl who likes girls. it's cool. i don't mind, not really.
ever since josh woke up and was told he could come home, he's been telling me to go back to school and work my hardest as if he never left so that i can graduate and get in a good college or university.
"i missed you," i said. "can we please just go out somewhere?"
"i missed you too, so much," he said. "but you have a test tomorrow and you need to study. look, i'll tell you what, if you study for an hour you and i can go out and go see a movie or something fun. alright?"
i sighed sadly. it's like he didn't even want to spend time with me. "alright."
"love you, kiddo," he said, giving a smile hoping to make me smile.
"i love you too," i replied, smiling in return before heading upstairs to study.

after my hour of studying, i came downstairs to join my mom and josh for dinner.
"your father is sorry he couldn't make it. work has been busy lately," mom told us, scooping some spaghetti on to her plate.
part of me believed her -- that he wasn't here because of work -- but the other part of me couldn't help but think it was because of me. i barely saw him anymore -- only in the mornings when he was hurrying out the door or at night in the bathroom when he's brushing his teeth. ever since i came out to him, it feels like he's avoiding me.

"are there any good movies out?" josh asked as we got in his car. i had to drive because the hospital told josh he couldn't drive for a month. i'm not sure why though. they told him it could be risky at the time being because he hasn't made a full recovery after waking up. he had lost of a lot of blood and the doctor said it would take about a month or so to recover.
"i hear the new mission impossible is good," i told him.
"i'm down," he said.
i laughed. it felt good to laugh.

the movies wasn't too crowded so that was good.
josh and i made our way to the ticket booth to purchase our tickets. josh insisted he'd pay.
"my treat," he said.
i didn't argue. i forgot money as well, so there was no point.
we bought our tickets the the booth outside and walked in the theatre.  it's been so long since i've seen a movie. this place hadn't changed at all. i smiled looking around at all the arcade games, and the funky green carpet stained with popcorn butter and spilled soft drinks. 
we stood in line at the concession, our turn coming up fast. i looked at all the different people walking out of theatres and going in. couples, families, friends and then. . .there you were. you came walking out of a theatre, a bag of popcorn in your hand, laughing with your friends. i wanted to know what was so funny.
you looked so happy. i could hear your laugh echoing. your laugh was so beautiful. you were so beautiful. and when you stopped laughing, your eyes locked with mine. a small smile formed on your lips and you mouthed, "hi."
my heart smiled. my cheeks were turning pink, i knew they were.
what are you doing to me, malia?

truly,
hannah