So, you want to spice things up?
The kind of things that happen at night, in the dark...
With ice cream spilled everywhere...
Wait, what?
Yeah, this involves ice cream
Get ready.
1. Keep a paddlebrush, a soft scarf, and a baseball (yes, a baseball) on your bedside table. While he's on top, alternate between scratching his back and butt with the bristles of the brush, stroking him with the scarf, and rolling the baseball over his skin.
2. Dip your breasts in edible body paint, and use them to 'sponge paint' his entire body. Then lick it off.
3. Feed each other ice cream in the dark. Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess.
4. Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects.
5. When fondling his manhood, slip a hair scrunchy around the base of it. The tight scrunchy combined with your touch creates an amazing sensation.
6. Give him a beer facial — the combination of the egg white and the yeast in the hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity... but you can just tell him that your lips can't resist his delicious, beer-flavored face.
7. Press a fork (firmly, but don't break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.
8. Pop his socks in the microwave for twenty seconds, then slip them on him. It will make him burn with pleasure.
9. Heat up some massage oil, and put it into a turkey baster. Then use the baster to draw shapes, spell out naughty words, or create trails on his body — from his neck, over his arms, then down his back, butt, and legs.
10. Wear a soaking wet T-shirt to bed.
11. Make two fists around his shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can.
12. Stop mid-action and point out a camera you've set up in the corner.
13. Casually scatter marbles all over the bed sheet for a wicked cool sensation.
14. Have someone hide in the closet, but don't tell your partner.
Now! Now, you posses the secret!
The secret of how to finally have truly amazing sex!
But, honestly, you could also call this list
"How to get a guy you're not really into to leave you, finally."
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