His One-Sided Love (COMPLETED)

30. Come Back

FEW CHAPTERS TO GO, LET'S SUPPORT! ONTI NA LANG AND ANOTHER WORK IS DONE. :))

Tapos na ang meeting at appointment ko today pero dito lang ako sa rooftop ng opisina, umiinom at nag-iisa. Emo nga sabi nila. Ayoko munang bumalik samin, wala naman sya dun eh. So ano pang dahilan? Hindi rin ako sumsagot sa mga tawag nila mommy. I know they're worried pero tsaka na ko magpapaliwanag. Handa na rin ang lahat para sa kasal pero hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihing wala ng mangyayaring kasalan.

I got Sasa's assets back, not because I want her to reconcile with me but because I love her so much that I don't want her to suffer again. For her, I am willing to give up everything, to give all the best that I can... even if she gave me up countless times.

Naalala ko tuloy noong una akong nasaktan kay Erika. I was young that time, so in love... I gave her my best too but she gave up on us. Parehas na sakit sa naramdaman ko ngayon. Erika was my first love. After her, wala na akong sineryoso, wala na akong minahal na babae kundi flings lang ang lahat.. But when I met Sasa, I learned to love again.

Pero heto, nasaktan na naman ako. Wedding is about to happen in a week but we're still not talking. I don't text or call her. I gave everything to Sasa that all I have is my pride. Nasaktan niya ako ng sobra... At hindi ko alam kung paano papawiin ang sakit na to.

Kahit wala na si Art, halatang sya pa rin ang pinili niya. She never said "I love you more" when I say I love you. Pero ayos lang, sapat na saking mahal niya ako kahit hindi gaya ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Pero wala eh, hindi pa rin.. Hindi pa rin ako ang pinili niya. Sinolo niya lahat ng problema. Wala bang saysay ang pagsasama namin para sa kanya? Wala ba syang tiwala sakin?

When she said yes to me to be my girlfriend,  I was so damn happy. When she said Yes to live with me, I couldn't get happier.. When she said yes to be Mrs. Dela Merced, I was at the happiest peak of my life... But when she cancelled the wedding, she caused me so much pain. My chest feels so heavy.

Sa tuwing naaalala ko ang mga mata niyang galit na galit habang nakatingin sakin ng malaman niyang nakita ko si Art, it reminds me of how she never really loved me. Na kung buhay man si Art ngayon, she will never ever say Yes to me.

This is how I feel. Sobrang sakit. Una na kong nasaktan noon, nahirapan akong makabangon. And now it happened again, hindi ko na lalo alam kung paano ako babangon muli sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

Whenever I am so vocal to someone about my feelings, nabibigo lang ako at nasasaktan. My heart is numb. Ayoko ng makaramdam. Tama na.

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Nandito ako ngayon sa bahay ni Jiro. Bumalik ako para humingi ng tawad.. Gusto ko din sanang sabihin na ituloy na namin ang kasal. Not because he gave solutions to my problems, but because, alam kong hindi ko sya dapat saktan. That I should love him, love him deeper, better and stronger. Sa pagback out ko sa wedding a week ago, ako lang ang nasaktan sa ginawa ko. I suffered of loneliness and missing him.