Marvel Girls One-Shots

I'm so proud of you

Summary: reader is struggling with an eating disorder and Natasha is determined to help her.

Warnings: eating disorders, body dysmorphia.

A/N: Please don't read if this is something you're struggling with as this can go into heavy detail of what it's like.

---

I dragged my sleeves further down my arms to avoid looking at my wrists. Every part of my body was fully covered, just like I wanted it to be. I didn't trust my own mind and even seeing my wrists made me think they weren't thin enough. Nothing about my body was good enough. Even when I went to therapy and measured my own arms and thighs and saw exactly what size they were, I still thought they were way bigger. The measuring tape was lying, it had to be.

I was sitting at the dinner table with a plate of grilled cheese in front of me. Carbs. The bread is full of carbs and the cheese has so many calories and fats. I took in a shaky breath before picking up one half of it. I took a small bite and felt so hopeless. I knew I had to follow the new program I had gotten but it felt horrible. I didn't want to recover, I had worked so hard to be able to skip every meal. I was hungry, yes, but my appetite had pretty much disappeared and that's how I wanted it to be. I didn't want to be tempted by food, it was a habit that had taken years to get rid of. But now, I was in recovery and had to follow the program I had been given. I had to eat a full meal and be supervised for over an hour to make sure I didn't throw it up.

Natasha was sitting in front of me with a soft smile. "You can do this, trust me."

Tony sighed as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Just eat it, you like grilled cheese. I mean, everyone eats every day to survive, why should it be so hard for you to do the same?"

I pursed my lips and slowly set down the food. I could feel tears prick my eyes as I stared at it.

"Shut up, Tony. She has an eating disorder, it's not her fault-"

He scoffed. "An eating disorder she gave herself on purpose." His words stung as I kept my gaze on the table.

"That's how most eating disorders develop. She's working hard on recovering, don't fuck that up for her."

He shook his head before walking out of the kitchen, mumbling something I couldn't quite catch. Natasha looked back at me. "Just eat three more bites, ok? Then we can watch a movie together."

I picked up the slice again and took a bite before taking two more. I felt horrible. Like I was failing at my goal. I'm not skinny enough yet, so why am I eating? Once I had chewed and swallowed, I dropped the piece down onto the plate and the immediate urge to throw it up hit me quickly. Natasha stood up and walked around the table to me. She kneeled down next to my seat and put her hand on my knee before rubbing soft circles on it. "You did great." She stood back up and took my hand and made me do the same. She immediately wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her. I wrapped my arms around her neck and nuzzled my face into it. She placed a kiss on my forehead before cupping my cheek and making me look at her. "I'm so proud of you."

I smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips moved against mine until she pulled away and placed a kiss on each of my cheeks. "I love you." I said while looking into her eyes.

"I love you more."