Dance With Me [ a matchablossom fanfic]

Chapter 24

The dishes were now clean and Kojiro brought out the wine and two glasses. It was red wine. The color matches his eyes. He poured both of our glasses.

" There's been a lot of changes between the kids, I can tell," He started talking. Where are you going with this? " Reki and Langa have been talking to me separately, asking for advice with crushes. Hiromi also came out as bisexual too." He handed me my glass and I took it.

" I knew that Higa came out, dumbass," I answered, lifting the rim to my lips. " Who do Reki and Langa have crushes on?" I asked before sipping the red liquid.

" I don't know but Reki came out as bi too," Kojiro answered. My eyebrow lifted and I set the glass down. I thought about this for a moment.

" It is pretty normal for teenagers at their age to figure themselves out, sometimes even younger," I thought out loud before shrugging. " It's their life. If they need advice then they can ask but I won't get into their business."

" I know," Kojiro replied quickly. " That was just a starting sentence for what I want to talk about." I looked at him, his eyes on me too. " I know how hard it must be for you to find someone, Kaoru. There aren't many gay guys out here--"

" I can handle my relationships on my own, Kojiro," I answered, finishing my wine and setting it on the counter.

" I know, Kaoru," He answered. " I don't want you to end up alone."

" I won't," I answered. " I'll find someone. Someday you'll drop all the fake attention you're getting from the random girls and find someone of your own."

" Hey! I don't need help with my relationships!" He expressed. 

" Then stop budging into mine!" I replied. I took my wallet out. It was my turn to bring the wine but this dinner was random and I didn't have time to fetch it. I set down the money that was for the wine and stood up. Kojiro sighed as I walked toward the door and out of the restaurant.

I walked out of Sia la luce. My hands went through my pockets, making sure I had everything. I walked back inside the restaurant, my wallet in Kojiro's hand. He was looking at me as I walked around the counter, I kept eye contact. Before I took the wallet out of his hands, my lips found his, and I kissed him. It was a quick but passionate kiss. I took the wallet and moved away, ready to walk out of Sia la luce.

" Oh, shit,"

" Wait, Wait, Wait! Kaoru!" Kojiro followed. Once I got to the door, I wasn't able to leave, Kojiro's hand pushing on the door, blocking my exit.

" What do you want?" I sounded desperate and wanted to leave. I did want to leave. This was the second kiss I've given him and I actually had to hear him out about this.

" I just want to talk to you! We need to talk about this," His hands motioned to both of our bodies.

" Look, I know! But I just don't know what to do. I don't think this will work out!" I answered, my hands grasping the sleeves of my kimono. We walked back to the counter, him on the other side. I sighed. " It's a bad idea, me and you. It won't work out at all."

" I get that, and I agree too," Kojiro answered. It sounded like he was trying to agree with me.

" Then there's no reason to talk about it!" I argued. This was useless! Why can't we just go back to normal? Stupid feelings.

" But I would like to!" Kojiro replied, the look in his eyes telling me it was true. " I know it's a bad idea. I couldn't hear anything more true."

" You have Sia la luce and I have my calligraphy. We don't need that distraction," I explained. It was a dumb excuse. I didn't need that distraction. " Plus, we are best friends. It doesn't make sense that we would be together in a romantic relationship."

Kojiro sighed. I know what he felt. He was torn too, I could tell. His hand went closer to mine but I pulled mine back.

" Making a mistake like this will just make worse what was already pretty bad," (a/n ik this is literally like a direct phrase from waitress shut up) I answered, getting up from the seat. I walked toward the door. " Let's just let this thing go, whatever it is."

My hand hovered over the doorknob. I couldn't move to open it. I wanted to leave but it was like my body wanted me to stay. I sighed and knocked my head on the door. My arm dropped to my side and I turned around. Kojiro was a few feet away and looking at me. A caring look in his eyes.

" Can I-"

" No, Kojiro," I answered. " This is a very poor idea and it won't work out." He started walking toward me but I moved out of the way, going to the other side.

" Please, Kaoru," Kojiro said, walking to me again. I didn't move this time. His hands rested on my shoulders. A voice in my head (that sounded a lot like Kojiro) spoke in the back of my mind. Stop running. I pushed out of Kojiro's grasp and walked toward the door, making sure I had my wallet this time.

" I know what's right for me," I emphasized, opening the door. Those words were meant for Kojiro, and maybe a little bit for me.

I walked down the entrance. My steps became slower as I thought to myself. I stopped in front of my car. My life is boring without him. This thought came from somewhere in my mind I didn't know existed. It is straightforward. It is pre-set.

This is dumb.

I got in the car and started the engine. I pulled into the road and started driving. I heard shouting from outside of the car. I looked in my side mirror, Kojiro was running after my car, his arms waving. I stopped the car in a hurried halt at the curb. What is he doing?  I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. 

" What are you doing?" I shouted at him as he neared me. He didn't answer and instead wrapped his arms around me. I wasn't expecting it. And I wasn't expecting what he was going to do next. He kissed me this time. He kissed me. 

" Let's make mistakes, Kaoru," Kojiro told me, his eyes looking directly in mine. " I like you and I know you like me too." I couldn't fight against him. " There are good mistakes and we can be that."

" You're right," I answered truthfully. " I like you, I have been for a long time. I want you."

" Then let's be together," He admitted, his hands on my biceps, holding me together. " There's no reason to throw it away when there's love to be had."

" But it doesn't make sense," I tried to argue. I knew I was being stupid and relentless. 

" It doesn't have to, Kaoru! That's why love is so complex!" He was smiling. His smile was contagious. I couldn't help but smile too. 

" I-I just--" My eyes were on the cement ground. I couldn't look at him. My face was hot and my ears and neck felt hot too. 

It's a bad idea! Kojiro's lips found mine again, he pulled me closer to him. We kissed during this moment. And this moment was great. But it is a pretty good bad idea.