A Reviving Vocal

XXXVIII - Enigma

We went to Aisha's place the next day.

I held the crumpled and somewhat antique letter in my trembling hands, trying to understand every word I have written in this piece of paper. My emotions goes in chaos whenever I read the sentence, 'All they care about myself is my voice'. I feel so lonely but at the same time, angry. Furious because I sacrificed the thing I love the most to somehow, change my parents - my mother to be exact, but it did nothing.

Nothing has changed, hasn't it? She's still the same.

What was the point of taking away my voice?

I was snapped out of my reverie when Aisha held my hand with the letter. "Eumeleia, we can still bring it back." I looked at Aisha's brown eyes confusingly.

"Your voice."

* * *

"Sino ang hinahanap niyong doctor?" The old lady in an all-white nurse uniform asked Aisha after she had finished explaining everything to her. "Si Dr. Castro po."

"Oh sige, iha. Maupo muna kayo d'yan. Sino nga ulit ang magpapa-check up?" Itinaas ko 'yung kamay ko at sumunod namang nag-salita si Aisha. "Eumeleia Ellis po." Umupo na lang kami pagkatapos niya kaming kausapin.

The nurse went inside the doctor's office and after at least five minutes, the old lady assisted us towards the room she was in a few seconds ago. She smiled at us as we got in and shut the door gradually. The two of us walked to the man sitting down on his swivel chair, who looks like in his later thirties. When he saw us, he quickly set his reading glasses down and offered us to sit on the two chairs in front of his desk.

"Ms. Ellis, it's nice to see you again. How are you?" He gave me a quick smile after asking. I turned to look at Aisha but she made an eye contact with me as if saying, 'go and answer him, it's going to be okay'. As soon as I got the message, I typed in my phone immediately. 'I'm doing fine, doctor. But... I don't really remember anything.'

"Yes, that's right." He stood up and walked towards us, thinking about what to say next. "You had this disorder called..." he trailed off in his words and made eye contact with me. "Selective Mutism."

My eyes remained looking at him as he paced back and forth inside his office. I am so scared to know what I will just discover but I know I am going to be happy because finally, I can get back my voice.

I can have my voice back.

"Just as the name itself says, you only select or choose specific situations or people to speak to. A year ago, as your family's usual doctor, you came to me and asked me questions about the human voice. You said you wanted to temporarily remove your voice, so then I suggested that you perform this action called Selective Mutism.

"Of course, you did it. However, due to depression, stress or should I say, anxiety - the day when you were singing and playing the piano, you fell unconscious. When you woke up, you don't remember anything.

"Now I don't know why it caused that, and you never spoke since then. You couldn't. It was probably because of something that you were so scared of - something that you don't want to speak to or talk about. A psychological trauma." All of us thought in silence when he finished his sentence.

I still couldn't remember anything other than Rain and... the band. What was he talking about... me playing the piano?

"Although that happened, you can still get your voice back through daily vocal therapies. It will be a while to bring it back because you have already grown accustomed to being mute, but it will be all worth it after the treatments." He went back to his chair and grabbed a pen on the desk.

I took a look at Aisha and she smiled broadly at me, and I did the same to her too.

Dr. Castro gave me a paper while saying the words, "The treatment will start on Monday at 5 P.M and it will go on everyday except for Sundays until we get back your voice. Other details will be in here."

"Sige po, Doc. Alis na po kami. Thank you!" Umalis na kami sa office niya at dumiretso na papalabas ng hospital.

Although I am so excited to finally get my voice back, something held me back from it and I was confused as to why Aisha wasn't as shocked as I am. I stopped in my tracks and she looked back at me, puzzled. 'Did you already know that?'

"Yup!" She said without even looking at me and shot me a beaming smile.

Blood somehow boiled quickly in my veins and I put as many exclamation points as I can on my phone. 'Then why didn't you tell me?!'

Aisha looked worried. "Because... it wasn't the right time, not until now."

'Really now?'

Nginitian niya lang ako.

Naalala ko yung mga sinulat ko dun sa letter. 'Please do me a favor and never tell me anything about my past until the right time has come.' I guess she was right after all.

"Pinapatawad mo na ba ako?" Tumawa siya ng malakas pagkatapos niyang tanungin sa'kin yun. I just rolled my eyes and nodded.

"'Di mo talaga ako matitiis!" Tumawa ulit siya at sinabing, "Tara na! Mag-practice muna tayo. Sa February 22 na yung competition noh!"

'Eh? Anong date na ba ngayon?'

"January 17 na kaya! Halos isang buwan na lang ang p-praktisin natin! Tara na sa studio! Naghihintay sila Rae doon."

* * *

Bumalik kami sa studio ng 2PM at nandun na silang lahat. Nakita ko rin si Nathan doon dahil ang alam ko tuturuan niyang mag-drums si Mikki at natutuwa naman akong malaman na tutulungan niya rin kami. Kanya-kanya lang ang practice namin ng mga instruments pero maya-maya, nilapitan ako ni Nicole.

"Uh... ate Ia, may ipaparinig sana ako sa'yo." Nag-taka ako sa biglang pag-galang niya sa'kin pero pinabayaan ko na lang 'yun at tumango sa sinabi niya.

Hawak niya yung gitara niyang naka-konekta sa amplifier at nag-simula na siyang tumugtog. Hindi ko pa naririnig 'yung kanta na 'yun kahit saan at natutuwa ako dahil ang ganda pakinggan sa tenga nung melody. Nung natapos siya, nagtinginan sa kanya lahat ng tao sa loob ng basement kaya tumingin siya sa'kin bigla.

"Uhm..." Lumapit siya sa'kin at sumenyas na yumuko ako ng konti kasi hindi niya ako maabot, kaya ginawa ko naman 'yun. "Compose ko 'yun."

Tiningnan ko si Aisha pagkatapos bumulong si Nicole at nilapitan naman niya kami. "Let me guess. You composed that?" She nodded in agreement.

"Okay! Iisipan ko 'yan ng lyrics mamaya kapag narinig ko ulit, okay? Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi?!"

"Tinapos ko lang 'yun kagabi eh!" Sagot naman ni Nicole. Ngumiti si Aisha at sinabing, "Okay, sorry! Hahaha!"

Bumalik na ang lahat sa kani-kaniyang gawain. Ibinalik ko muna yung gitara ng kuya ni Rae sa stand nito at kinuha ang bag ko. I saw the journal inside of it and I instinctively grabbed it from the bag. I flipped through the pages and saw a newly written sentence.

'What's your favorite flavour of milk tea?'

Wait a minute... why is he asking me this? Does he not know any kind of flavour milk tea has?

Nagulat ako nang biglang sumulpot si Aisha sa likod ng upuan. "Uy! 'Diba kay Rain 'yang journal? Secret message niya ba sa'yo 'yan?" Kibit-balikat ko na lang siyang sinagot.

"Mag-sulat ka rin! Sagutin mo 'yung tanong niya! Tapos ibigay mo sa kanya sa Monday, mukha kasing masaya eh! Baka gusto ka niya ulit maging kaibigan?"

Sinunod ko na lang yung sinabi ni Aisha kahit na nagdadalawang-isip pa rin ako sa kanya. 'It's called Okinawa.'

Was this question even here before?

end of chapter thirty eight

A/N: omg sorry ngaun lang ako nakapag-update! Nawalan kasi ako ng inspirasyon </3 hahaha. Anyways thank you talaga sa mga nagbabasa until now!!!! Tuloy-tuloy pa rin akong magpapasalamat dahil kung wala kayo baka hindi ko matapos tong story na to :c hahaha ang drama eh.

Thank you! :)