A Reviving Vocal

XIV - Rights and Wrongs

I've been thinking all day... all night, thinking about what she said about my friends; and about what Aisha has just confessed to me. Days have passed and I still haven't talked to either of my two close friends. I couldn't bring myself to look at them in the eye, especially Aisha. It felt like I betrayed them...

Again.

I've had this feeling ever since I started adding a distance between the three of us, and it feels like they didn't care about it. They were avoiding me, too. It's like we never even knew each other. It felt weird. There's a part of me that wants us to be together again, but there's this part that I don't want to see them because of one thing.

And it was because of Aisha.

She just confessed to me! She said she likes me. Like. A romantic kind of like, not a friendship kind of thing. It's inappropriate. I just know it. I have nothing against things like that... but, I feel sorry for Aisha. How did she become like that? What was the reason behind all of it? And most of all... why me?

"Hey... Eumeleia." Red waved his hands in front of me and I shifted my body because his face was so close to mine. It felt awkward. I gave him a confused look even though I felt really embarrassed. "Natulala ka nanaman eh. Anong meron sa'yo at palagi kang natutulala? May problema ka ba kaya mo 'ko tinawag dito?"

Yes, it was one of the reasons why, so I nodded. The other was that I just really want to see him. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. "Oh, kwento mo na. I'm ready to listen, anytime." Bigla na lang gumaan yung pakiramdam ko ng konti nung sinabi niya yun kaya sinimulan ko na ang pagtype. I explained everything and I was already on the verge of crying.

"May kakumpitensya na'ko sa'yo? Ano ba naman 'yan!" Pagalit niyang sabi habang kunwari ay nagdadabog. I found that act cute and I silently laughed. Kahit papaano, nawala naman yung lungkot ko dun. Minsan kahit korni na yung ginagawa niya natatawa pa rin ako sa kanya! Hindi ko nanaman alam kung bakit.

"Joking aside, that was... unnatural. Bakit naman bigla siyang magsasabi ng ganun sa'yo? Baka naman nangloloko lang siya, hindi mo lang napansin?"

I shrugged. Hindi ko talaga alam ang gagawin 'ko, kaya nga pinapunta ko siya sa likod ng school eh; para manghingi ng advice. Pinag-salita ko pa muna siya para makahanap naman ako ng solusyon sa problema ko, kung saka-sakali.

"Siguro nga niloloko ka nun! Alam mo naman kasi yun si Aisha, ganun lang talaga yun, maloko. Pagbigyan mo lang ng ilang araw, 'di ka na pagt-tripan nun. Pagsasabihan ko siya."

"Okay ba? You don't have to worry about a thing."

Nagbuntong-hininga na lang ako at napangiti sa mga sinabi niya. Tama lang na puntahan ko si Red sa mga ganitong bagay. Natutulungan niya talaga ako. I think I can really depend on him more.

Narinig kong nag-bell na at niyaya na ako ni Red na pumasok sa loob.

Pumasok na ako ng classroom at umupo sa silya ko. Pinagmasdan ko si Rae na tahimik lang na nakaupo sa upuan niya na malayo sa'kin. Nakita kong pinaglalaruan din niya yung bracelet sa kamay niya. Bigla na lamang lumabas sa isip ko yung mga oras na binilhan kami ni Aisha ng matching bracelets nung bumibili kami ng mga materials para sa Acquaintance Party. Nalungkot ako at napatingin din ako sa mesa kung saan nakapatong yung kamay ko. Suot ko din pala yun, hindi ko namalayan. Paiyak na ako ng bigla na lamang may umupo sa tabi ko. Si Red pala.

"Dito muna ako, absent naman yung katabi mo eh." I just nodded.

"Bakit ganyan mukha mo? Ngumiti ka naman! Mukha kang si Squidward!" Natawa pa siya habang tinitingnan ako. Nakitawa na rin ako at saktong dumating naman yung teacher namin sa Math.