A Reviving Vocal

XVII - Luminary

'I want you.' Wait...

...what?!

Wh- why did I type that in?!

I was about to delete all of it when he took my phone and read it out loud. "I want you? You want me? Really?"

I didn't know how to respond to him. Well, it's not like I can actually answer him. I'm both tongue tied - which I literally am - and stuck in my own reverie. I have no idea what came to my mind so that I would type that. I am so, so embarrassed, I just want to bury myself and die.

"Eumeleia... are yo--" before he could even say the whole sentence, I snatched my phone from his hand, opened and closed the gate after going in and went straight inside the house without even looking behind.

I mouthed. 'What is happening to me?'

My whole body is in chaos. My heart is now beating so fast, like it's at the speed of light. It's too much... too much pounding, too much nervousness. My mind is going blank. I feel like my head has forgotten everything I did in life except that moment in front of our house. The whole me doesn't know what to do, what to expect from him, what to say to him... ugh!

And why does my insides feel so light? This is the same as having buttetflies in your stomach, right? What I'm saying currently is somehow similar to those heroines in movies and books who loves someone...

This is real love?

Am I really... i-in love with him?

* * *

Those three weeks left has already gone by and we're already at the back stage of the event at the mall. Nervousness has crept back into me, just like what happened before. I can't help but get flustered over and over again just by thinking about it. He'll even watch our performance later.

He'll be watching us... watching me.

Do I look okay with this casual outfit? Do I look weird? I knew I should've put on make-up when Aisha asked me about it earlier... I don't feel confident at all.

"Eumeleia, okay ka lang? Namumutla ka?" I just shrugged, and Rae laughed at me. "Okay lang yan! Normal lang na kabahan ka bago ka pumunta ng stage noh. Don't let it get to you."

Nginitian niya ako at ginawa ko rin naman yun. Bago pa ako makapag-type para tanungin kung okay lang yung itsura ko, tinawag na kami ng isang staff. "Uh... number nineteen, Apostrophe! Please get ready, you're up next."

Apostrophe, yup. That's our band name. Nathan came up with it... but I don't really know how and when he thought of it. Wait... we're already next?!

Beads of sweat are already coming down from my forehead, we haven't even started yet!

"And that was OVERDRIVE! Please give them a warm of applause!" The host has already finished interviewing them and she's introducing us right now.

It's happening...

"Now, this band is composed of only three people! They're one of the four bands who entered with only three members!"

"Oh, kaya niyo na 'yan ah?! Go! Tandaan niyo lang yung mga pinractice natin! 'Wag kakabahan, smile lang lagi!"

Hindi ko na alam kung sino papakinggan ko sa dalawa, kung si Aisha ba o yung host. Pabalik-balik yung tingin ko sa kanila, naguguluhan na ako. Lalo lang akong pinagpapawisan sa ginagawa ko. Nakikita kong naayos na ng mga staff yung mga instruments namin at hindi na ako mapakali.

Gusto ko ng umalis at huwag na lang mag-perform. Pero alam kong magagalit lang sa'kin si Aisha kapag ginawa ko yun.

Ano ba kasi dapat kong gawin para 'di na 'ko kabahan?!