That One Place (TALA SERYE#1)

Chapter 50

#ThatOnePlaceChapterFifty

Chapter Fifty

My hands are trembling. Tila nawala ang ang tama ng alak sa sistema ko dahil lang sa mensaheng nabasa ko. Be happy? He's telling me to be happy after confusing me again. I tightened my grip on my phone as I read his message again and again.

I scoffed as I feel the tears in the corner of my eyes. Ramdam ko ang pag-init ng sulok nito at alam kong any moment ay magbabagsakan muli ang mga luhang ito. But I can't cry right now, no – I won't cry anymore.

I heaved a deep sigh as I take a step back from the elevator. Kanina pa ako nakatayo lang sa harapan nito. Ilang beses nang may sumakay at lumabas dito pero nakatayo lang ako sa harapan nito at hindi magawang ikilos ang aking mga paa. I was so lost in my thoughts.

"Excuse me, may I ask how I can go to the garden?" I asked the receptionist in the lobby. She smiled at me and gave me instructions. I nodded and thanked her after.

I walked silently until I reached the garden. But there's a party going on, kaya naman ay lumiko ako papunta sa pool area. The place is awfully quiet. Para bang ito lang yung lugar na hindi nakakadama ng presensya ng pasko.

I sat on one of the reclining chairs, facing the deep blue pool in front of me. Maliwanag ang buong lugar dahil sa mga Christmas lights na nakasabit sa mga halaman at puno sa paligid. Even the pool has lights underneath kaya naman kitang-kita ko kung gaano ito kalalim at kalinis.

After roaming my eyes at my surroundings my mind went back to where it is a few minutes ago. It was back at thinking about him, that even if we're a thousand miles away he managed to take my mind and heart out here. He made me long for him.

But why would I have longed for him? I thought I'm already healed. I already made peace with the fact that he's not with me anymore.

Pero yung simpleng mensahe lang na iyon, it manages to shatter me again.

Yung halos siyam na buwan kong pagpilit na alisin siya sa sistema ko, na kalimutan lahat ng ala-ala na pilit pumapasok sa isipan ko. Lahat 'yon, pakiramdam ko ay nabalewala kasi hanggang ngayon ay apektado pa rin ako. Hanggang ngayon ay umaasa pa rin ako.

I looked at my phone when it vibrated again. Pinunasan ko ang tumulo kong luha sa screen. Kung hindi ito nag vibrate ay hindi ko pa malalaman na umiiyak na naman ako. Leche! Paskong-pasko ganito ang nararamdaman ko.

I turned off the alarm clock – which made my phone to vibrate. Ibabalik ko na sana ang cellphone ko sa pouch na dala-dala ko pero hindi ko itinuloy. Instead, I just found myself opening my Facebook and messenger account.

I scrolled down to my timeline, puro Christmas greetings at pictures of their celebration lang ang makikita ko sa buong feed ko. May iilang classmates din ako na nasa ibang bansa gaya ko para mag celebrate. I just react heart on their posts, hindi na ako bumati dahil tinatamad ako mag type. I just want to see how their doing just to divert my attention.

Napahinto ang pag-i-scroll ko nang mag pop-up ang GC nang buong block namin. Wala sana akong balak na buksan at basahin iyon pero nahagip ng panibagong message notifications from that GC yung pangalan ko.